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when I was young, I wanted
to be a punk rocker

metal holes lining my body like
trophies of war, hair teased
and bleached and styled for hours
on end until  it looked effortless,
inked up with words and symbols
I swore were profound with
a cigarette hanging lazily
from my fingers, lonely

for a reason

   (and he told me, sweetie,
   you are like a fucking eclipse,
   the bloody dawn  
   God plagued us with

   I always wondered
   if mistakes understood
   the reason they
   came to be in this world

 I guess not).
and we thought it was so cool, living like we weren't afraid to die, until we realized it meant we lived for nothing
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrohdrez11520:
Rohdrez11520 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014
"I always wondered if mistakes understood the reason they came to be in this world."

...That cuts deep.
Cuts real deep, it does.

If was never afraid to die.
I never thought twice about risking it all.
Those moments I could see my life flashing before my eyes were the moments I felt most alive.

Whether I live to be twenty four or one hundred, I really don't care.
Just as long as someone's glad I'm dead, I'll know my life meant that much to someone.
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This gorgeous work was featured here: untamedunwanted.deviantart.com…
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so honored! thank you immensely for your support :huggle:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your work is so beautifully moving. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're so young but your heart and mind feel so very vast and I marvel at you, wonder with my mouth agape like the first man to find the first ocean (of time). You're brilliant and old and wiser than I ever was and, perhaps (I suspect), ever will be.

What can a person do but love you?

PS - Your artist's comments are often as wonderful as the poems themselves but, in this case, I think it surpasses it... and it is no small thing. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love:
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: :love:
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013
and then the drugs catch up with you.

great work.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student Writer
"lonely for a reason" and that last stanza. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconnevarware:
Nevarware Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
The part about mistakes is incredible. Delectable. <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconsteampunktigerlily:
SteampunkTigerlily Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very well done. I like the comment you put in the description
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:icongothic-romantic99:
Gothic-Romantic99 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a well written poem. Nice job.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:icongothic-romantic99:
Gothic-Romantic99 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Student Writer
:heart: I LOVE THIS.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: I LOVE YOU
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Student Writer
YOU'RE TOO KIND! :heart:
Reply
:iconizzyizz303:
izzyizz303 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
THE FEEEEELS~~!!!!!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much!
Reply
:iconizzyizz303:
izzyizz303 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
:3
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, I love this. :)

"metal holes lining my body like
trophies of war
"
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :love:
Reply
:iconjojo22:
jojo22 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
***and we thought it was so cool, living like we weren't afraid to die, until we realized it meant we lived for nothing***

Damn, that observation strikes me more than anything. Well done :D
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much :heart:
Reply
:iconjojo22:
jojo22 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you are welcome
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconv-espertine:
v-espertine Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
there's an alternate universe in which i sing in a punk band in east la, long black hair, metallic tights, etc.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahhh i'd love to see that
Reply
:iconv-espertine:
v-espertine Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
me too. sigh.
Reply
:iconnikikt:
nikikt Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
And congrats on making it to the front page ;)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
it's such an honor :la:
Reply
:iconnikikt:
nikikt Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Deep, profound, one of your simpler poems that's easier to wrap my head around, which is something good for this subject matter, I would think. Excellent, as always, dear. <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
it's always lovely to see you around, thank you for your support :love:
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:iconcritterrock:
CritterRock Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Nice :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :love:
Reply
:iconshylavender:
shylavender Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
amazingly profound:love:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconshylavender:
shylavender Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you are welcome:)
Reply
:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Professional Writer
yep :skull:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
trophies of war <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Student Writer
:love:
Reply
:iconfindmyface:
findmyface Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The description is what won me over.
Reply
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