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the sun is melting away,
we call it romantic when
all good things die quietly;

I feel like I’m always transitioning
through different levels of sobriety:
spent up on the people in my life
like the girl who doesn’t remember
my name and the boy who thought
I was joking.

(I will care for myself, and
then the world will stop and
spin in the right direction;
the mirror will blur and
I will finally see me,
unfiltered and beautiful)

I just want to believe
that somewhere there’s a boy
ready to sing my bleeding ears
to sleep

with a cinnamon voice, he
will tell me I couldn’t
possibly be human:  something
otherworldly, a moonmaid with
starry eyes come to make
reality surreal

and it would be almost perfect,
floating in that jagged gap where
devotion seems to breed and
where I could finally sleep,
untouched and sober.
sometimes I wonder if he knows I exist
(sometimes I doubt that I do)
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:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love this and I admire you for writing with such brutally raw emotion. Most of my drafts start like this but I'm too chicken to expose that side of myself entirely.

Btw this totally broke my heart "where devotion seems to breed and
where I could finally sleep...." The knot in my throat's still won't budge.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahh i'm honored to know it meant anything to you, thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is so raw and honest and beautiful. :heart: I wish I had just an ounce of your talent with words. I love the third stanza, especially the lines:

the mirror will blur and
I will finally see me,
unfiltered and beautiful
:aww:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're far too kind! :love: Thank you!
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome. :aww:
Reply
:iconriseandbe:
RiseandBe Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Holy Shit.

This is absolutely gorgeous! Honestly, I'm speechless. I want to be more useful - point out my favorite lines, but I'm having trouble. The flow is flawless, the images and emotions are breath-taking, the whole thing blends together so perfectly. If I absolutely had to choose, I think the stanza in parenthesis and the last two stanzas are my favorite parts, especially the parenthesis. Also, I love the word 'moonmaid' what a beautiful image that evokes.
:heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh gosh you are so lovely, your compliments truly mean the world to me :love: thank you!
Reply
:iconriseandbe:
RiseandBe Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure! :heart:
Reply
:icontheskysground:
TheSkysGround Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
When you find him, your life will enter a whole new realm of joviality. :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you are so lovely <3

thank you (:
Reply
:icontheskysground:
TheSkysGround Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2013
u are welcome :)
Reply
:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013   Writer
"The sun is melting away" that is an amazing and beautiful line. Very artistic as well.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconpen-and-mouse:
Pen-and-mouse Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
This is the most amazing piece of Art I've read in a long time..:heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh gosh dear you are too lovely to be real :blush:
Reply
:icontheskysground:
TheSkysGround Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
I wish i could hug this poem.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013
Shiver in shadow. Peer at peers (sloped slightly sun-ward) with unique understanding unmatched.
Dare they gaze beneath? Risk they superior sight of surroundings?

Is wanting of their forest dream worth unknowing your own tree?

Be leaf. It does not need to see.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
blindness is a virtue
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
(In flight, they are truly free.)
Reply
:iconvoltairemarx:
voltairemarx Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think I could cry :*
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconvoltairemarx:
voltairemarx Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
a haiku: Her words:
Words like worlds, Revolving and
Like tidal: P u l l I n g

Repair her hulling,
Lets return to the surreal,
real Isreal.
Reply
:iconconcora:
Concora Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013   Writer
(I will care for myself, and
then the world will stop and
spin in the right direction;
the mirror will blur and
I will finally see me,
unfiltered and beautiful)


:clap: :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Student Writer
You had me from the beginning, those are some breathtaking opening lines love.

"the sun is melting away,
we call it romantic when
all good things die quietly" ... :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you are so sweet :huggle: thank you so much!
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that last stanza is wonderful <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:icongolden-leaves:
Golden-Leaves Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
One of my favorites you've ever written. :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you soooo much lovely :huggle:
Reply
:icongolden-leaves:
Golden-Leaves Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:love:
Reply
:iconmeringue-in-a-tux:
meringue-in-a-tux Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dem feels.. This is really beautiful (: the guy I like hardly knows I exist.. *sigh*
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!

word of advice, though, I bet he notices you more than you realize!
Reply
:iconfelynea:
Felynea Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Beautiful.. gave me feelings haha. :tears:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh no! feels! :noes:

thank you!
Reply
:iconh-sayuri:
H-Sayuri Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is wonderful, I love it~
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh gosh, thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconwingz69:
WiNGz69 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Writer
Sorry for the rambling Maddie but I just couldn't help myself.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :huggle:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconiknowthatfeelplz:

I will care for myself, and
then the world will stop and
spin in the right direction


I really love the honesty in this piece.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that means the world to me, thank you :tighthug:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: you're welcome
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
"spent up on the people in my life" *upon?

This is beautiful, love.

and it would be almost perfect,
floating in that jagged gap where
devotion seems to breed


Gah. You're amazing. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh! I hadn't even noticed that those words could go together, haha. I was thinking "spent up", as in wasted.

Thank you so so much :heart:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
Ah, derp. ^^; My apologies. :sheepish:

Most welcome, love. :heart:
Reply
:iconunspecifiedunknown:
UnspecifiedUnknown Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013   Writer
oh this is absolutely gorgeously wonderfully beautiful, sincerely.

"I just want to believe
that somewhere there’s a boy
ready to sing my bleeding ears
to sleep

with a cinnamon voice, he
will tell me I couldn’t
possibly be human: something
otherworldly, a moonmaid with
starry eyes come to make
reality surreal"
:iconflyingheartsplz:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh gosh just like you lovely :heart: I admire your work so much; this compliment means the world :huggle:
Reply
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