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:iconintricately-ordinary: More from intricately-ordinary


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Writing by TwilightPoetess

Literature by SomethingOnceSacred

Poetry - Uncategorised by camelopardalisinblue


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Submitted on
December 30, 2012
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little siren girl, held up by fishhooks
and lines - you'll only be free when
they cut you loose.

still, they tell you: you will not fall
victim to swelling tides, you
will float. (you are a dead weight.)

you are something incomplete
like the forgotten house on the
end of the row, eating itself,
dimming day by day:
paint chips and chapped lips
have nothing left to say.

there are monsters nursing
deep beneath your flesh, with
threadbare spines and trembling
hands, they are afraid of their own
shadows. (you are only weak when
your eyes are open)

a new year waits upon your doorstep,
promising to take all that was ever [you]
away.

the paper doll can finally sleep,
to see another day.
When the sun finally resurrects, you will, too.

(goodbye, 2012 :heart:)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello, I wanted to let you know I've used your lovely title in my newest Title Poem, 'your teeth leave different scars'. If you wanted to read it, the link is [link] - but this comment is really just to let you know how I've made use of your gorgeous title. :)
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
what a beautiful poem, I'm honored to be a part of it :love:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Bless, thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
there are monsters nursing
deep beneath your flesh, with
threadbare spines and trembling
hands


Guh. How do you do it? Your imagery is just beautiful. :heart: This piece feels like a big breath of fresh air; it feels like a new year. :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
What an honor! :tighthug: Thank you!
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :aww:
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I fear that if I completely gush over each of your poems, you'll think me addled or superfluous. B-)

But the more I read your work, the more its like...serendipity defined. That special occurrence when you read a poem or hear a song that you didn't know you were looking for until you found it. That may be a cliché, but nevertheless it is true.

there are monsters nursing
deep beneath your flesh, with
threadbare spines and trembling
hands, they are afraid of their own
shadows.


Well done.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That's one of the kindest things anyone has ever said about my poetry. I'm absolutely honored it clicks with you in such a way, and thank you so much for making my day! :heart:
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're most welcome. :D I'm glad I made you happy; it was my pleasure.
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderful words placed nicely so.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconkrutch99:
krutch99 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
amazing, as usual. cheers :D
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:love: thank you!
Reply
:iconkrutch99:
krutch99 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
np, happy new year :D
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Writer
Oh wow... this is wonderful ><
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
My pleasure!
Reply
:iconkiefer115:
Kiefer115 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
You are actually a genius when it comes to imagery.

I adore this, which is to be expected considering you wrote it.

"(you are only weak when
your eyes are open)"

I very rarely stare wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the sheer magnificence of a line in a poem, but that'll do it! :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
jsadhkjsaghlsdkghsa you made my day. This is such a lovely comment.

I'm so incredibly honored you felt this way! I really adored that line, and I wanted to include it; I'm so happy to hear it worked well and other people enjoyed it.

Thank you so much! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconthomasintheclouds:
ThomasInTheClouds Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Writer
Every single word was a brushstroke of brilliance.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
wow, what an honor to hear that from you! :tighthug: Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you are something incomplete
like the forgotten house on the
end of the row, eating itself,
dimming day by day:
paint chips and chapped lips
have nothing left to say.

oohhh! :love:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much!
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
no problem! :)
Reply
:iconpollysalem:
Pollysalem Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
Very nice.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you are something incomplete
like the forgotten house on the
end of the row, eating itself,
dimming day by day:
paint chips and chapped lips
have nothing left to say.


--I really like the imagery and rhythm of this.

I also thought this:

you will float. you are a dead weight.

was a pretty cool juxtaposition.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
that was my favorite stanza.

thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:D

welcome!
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
This is wonderful.. I think my brain just orgasmed a little bit. ( I dont know if I can say that on DA.. but im gonna anyway.)
Favorite lines:

"(you are only weak when
your eyes are open)"

and

"like the forgotten house on the
end of the row, eating itself,:
"
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh my gosh you're so cute :love:

thank you so much! that means the world :heart:
Reply
:icontriciafied:
Triciafied Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
:clap:
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