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:iconintricately-ordinary: More from intricately-ordinary


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Literature by SomethingOnceSacred

Literature by Blacksand459


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Submitted on
December 17, 2012
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when they peel back her skin they
find a feeble layer of stringent
exigency saved up for the people who
would lend her a light on her path
to gossamer fabrications, she's

lost herself in fairytales like
the crumbs that don't lead home
and the girl who needs to sleep off
a few decades before things can
fall into place-

she dug her own grave but
it turned out to be a rabbit hole,
she's sea sick- she lulls
       it's
       a little disarming when the waves reflect
       your mirrored malignance and the
       only way out is
       down
    (her siren song sounds like
     a martyr's last motive)

she sighs and promises herself to a man
who doesn't give a damn
she dances alone, her splintered bones echo
'the story's over'

the end.
We forgot our words, we left them out to dry in the moonlight.
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:iconsjemenka:
Sjemenka Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this is sooooo good.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love: you're so sweet
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:icongreenleo94:
greenleo94 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Woah. The last lines gave me chills.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:love: ohmygosh, thank you so much!
Reply
:icongreenleo94:
greenleo94 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome. :)
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:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
My dreams have always been vivid (for those that I do remember) and my imagination has always been wild, clear, strong... so imagery is something I find to be supremely relate-able and you never fail to deliver. Your constantly clever use of this, and your old-soul sort of word choice really puts a world of detail into mere lines of poetry :D I love the first stanza the most though the last reminds me, powerfully, of someone tragic I used to know :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
My imagination has always been great, too. When I look around, I try to see things in new words. Thank you so much :heart: though I am sorry the last stanza brings up those memories :/
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:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That much is obvious :love: You are marvelous. And you are, of course, welcome Miss Intricately :worship: And please do not worry or apologize! Before she became tragic, she was quite special and a pleasure to know... no matter how things ended up, I always look to the better memories for the people I once knew ^.^ If anything, you've done me yet another favor, reminding me... :bow: :blowkiss:
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:iconthepoetboy:
thepoetboy Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i love love love this, your words are just so brilliant and moving!

i loved saved up for the people who/would lend her a light on her path/to gossamer fabrications and i also loved and the girl who needs to sleep off/a few decades before things can/fall into place-

god and this too: she dug her own grave but/it turned out to be a rabbit hole,

your lines are always so....clever.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you are too kind to me, I so appreciate the feedback, dear! :iconlainloveplz:
Reply
:iconthepoetboy:
thepoetboy Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh its my pleasure love♥
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Student Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:icondanglinleaf:
danglinleaf Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist
This is so beautiful! Personally I loved the first stanza the best...especially image of gossamer fabrications. Gahhh.
Actually, I love the whole thing! thank you for this!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You are so very sweet! :heart: I am honored, thank you so much :hug:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
<3
"lost herself in fairytales like
the crumbs that don't lead home
and the girl who needs to sleep off
a few decades before things can
fall into place-"

"she dances alone, her splintered bones echo
'the story's over'

the end."
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle:
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:iconitrainsinutopia:
ItRainsInUtopia Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Student Writer
her siren song sounds like
a martyr's last motive

WOW
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconzaquiastorm:
ZaquiaStorm Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012
Totally disregarding the poem, your "description" is what caught my eye the most this time, probably because it's sparked something in me that makes me want to take that sentence and write something based on it. We forgot our words, we left them out to dry in the moonlight.

Back to the poem, I feel like I am lacking both in intellect and vocabulary, though I'm sure the two go hand in hand. I'd love to make an actual comment on it, but I'm afraid it's over my head. Of course, I consider anything to be as well-versed as this and over my head, to be a work of great worth. After all, I hardly understand many famous poets.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I was really stuck on the story idea, when I was wrote my description. The power of words and guidance of actions, too. If you want to write something based on it, that would be lovely! :heart:

oohh, that's such a sweet thing to say! :hug: I appreciate the gesture so much, thank you.
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:iconzaquiastorm:
ZaquiaStorm Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconhaanyaan:
Haanyaan Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Student Writer
it's
a little disarming when the waves reflect
your mirrored malignance and the
only way out is
down
(her siren song sounds like
a martyr's last motive)


Love love love love :hug:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:blush: thankyou! :iconbunnyglompplz:
Reply
:iconhaanyaan:
Haanyaan Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Student Writer
you're welcome luvvy ^^ :cuddle:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
lost herself in fairytales like
the crumbs that don't lead home
and the girl who needs to sleep off
a few decades before things can
fall into place-


--this is beautiful. I like the ending too - "her splintered bones".
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :huggle:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome :hug:
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:iconpeircingarrow:
PeircingArrow Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
there is something extremely beautiful about such a blunt ending,

"'the story's over'

the end."
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so happy, that is what I'd hoped to achieve. thank you :heart:
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