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March 27, 2013
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She asks me to tell her a story,
a quiet ignorance of the self,
separation from
the unaffected scratches
on her freshwater skin and
years she spent
searching for the dreams orbiting
her like forlorn moons;

love happens on the sharp
nights unbalanced with
a little too much of the things
you don’t understand. She never
liked her eyes, full and honest and an
unignorable admittance she was real.

But she never was a cheater,
she claims, no one
put a price on her; the things she gave
away cost too much like
doctored up, re-polished
silence. Sounds familiar.

Imagine a place where
no one has a nightmare. No one
has a voice, their lives are
in their hands: calloused and
beautiful. They wake unweathered
and they are not blind and

she is the sun, unaware she
could never catch her
dreams. Even now, she

wants to be a bird when she
grows up (the endless cliché
when you’ve already sold all your
time in exchange for a pleasant
absence of memories)
with wind gliding down her back
and hollow bones, beautiful and free.

We are the petty things. Flesh wounds
and broken vessels, bleeding out like
someone gives a damn. She sighs.
In a week, she will be gone.

I tell her a story before she
flies away.
I needed a story.

Please tell me if I look like I'm trying to hard to be profound.
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:iconsutathewolf:
Sutathewolf Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Student General Artist
"Imagine a place where
no one has a nightmare. No one
has a voice, their lives are
in their hands: calloused and
beautiful.
"

I really liked this bit. Beautiful poem, with wonderful imagery. So good <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're so sweet :heart:
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:iconsutathewolf:
Sutathewolf Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Student General Artist
:hug:
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't think you're trying too hard.
Ya seem to come by it naturally, Maddie.
Nice work. (:
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:iconnothingspecial62:
NothingSpecial62 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013   General Artist
"we are the pretty things."
such a simple line, but it really caught me. ;u; i like it... i could say it a thousand times and never get tired of it.

i think, at least in the form of free verse poetry, that you have created a story. it has a beginning, a middle, and an end just as a story should.

'v' i don't think you're "trying too hard" to be profound either.
it's your voice, your works, and you always do a good job in my personal opinion. please continue being beautiful. <3
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
asdfghjklkjhgfdsa i will certainly try <3 thankyousomuch
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:iconnothingspecial62:
NothingSpecial62 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   General Artist
> w< hooray, i'm glad, and you're welcome! <33
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Student Writer
This is really good, but seems to get lost a bit somewhere in the middle(had to read quite a few times to understand it - never really read poetry that's free verse that has a lot of characters in it, and that might be why I got lost), but the end brings it back together.

I really like this part -
"put a price on her; the things she gave
away cost too much like
doctored up, re-polished
silence. Sounds familiar."
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! I don't do story-ish things a lot.
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