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I lost my voice
choking on my own tongue.
The words still spill out
from my eyes.

I bit my lips raw
hoping to stem the flow,
but ideas still drip
from my fingertips.

A soggy brain leaks, I suppose
and all my thoughts taste like tar
Full of ideas but no mouth to speak them with.
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:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is amazing, I love poems with few words but high intensity. They are a real challenge to write.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my gosh, you know, you are way too sweet :love: I wrote this on a week when I'd written at least ten poems, all of which were horrendous.
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:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
LOL I'm sorry I used Carlo's account. We are chilling at his place.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'M LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW XD
you are so awesome

really, though, thank you for being so wonderful and kind.
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:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
When you say awesome you do mean me, of the two of us?
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That whole comment thing is kind of the highlight of my day xD you're awesome, Alec
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:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I have my moments... This one was an accident tho. We should really talk one day, I'm curious as to where your astonishing inspiration comes from.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you should definitely send me a note when you're not, you know, on your friend's account :D
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(1 Reply)
:iconcarlogrims:
CarloGrims Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Writer
As much as I love being sweet to you, it wasnt rly my intention. The will to write even on the cusp of death... Only a true writer at heart could think of such an awesome premise :heart:
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:iconwise-lies:
Wise-lies Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
very interesting, never quite seen a poem like this. wonnderrrfuull. :heart:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you, that means a lot :love:
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:iconwise-lies:
Wise-lies Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you're very welcome :)
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012   Writer
This poem is probably one of the favorites I have ever read on deviantart. It's just so cool and poetic and awesome. I can't have a favorite line or whatever because it all goes so well together that it all is my favorite. [sorry if I'm not making much sense...it's 3:25 am here haha]
This has a wonderful flow and very interesting choice of words...I like your vocabulary.
It feels like some lines could have been common thoughts yet changed in a way that made them awesome.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, I started limiting my computer hours when I read some of my comments from the wee hours of the morning. (I get weird..) Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it.
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012   Writer
I just ramble on and can't process things well but I'm wide awake at these times.
You're welcome :D
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
For some reason... the reason is this that I am a bit weird... now having stated that... while you are choking on your tongue... you bit your lip raw... to stem the flow... that was from your eyes... but now diverts to your finger tips... and the main reason is the leaking brain which you taste on your choking tongue...?

It makes sense :D
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Of course! It makes perfect sense!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
haha :D oh and I also wrote a little something for the competition :D (note and last lit deviation) I would like your opinion over it.. I personally feel it does cover the topic in a strange way...
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:iconleonio:
Leonio Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012
Hey I. Like that! Lol I often feel that way a lot.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
It's such a disgusting feeling
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:iconfeatherback:
featherback Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is lovely! I adore the imagery, and it's very relateable. I'm full of thoughts too, but whenever I try to get them out they become so incoherent.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
blech just everything I tried to write for a few days came out over-wordy and gross so I wrote this
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:iconfeatherback:
featherback Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I know the feeling. D: I'm having the exact same problem. But this is wonderful, and you should be proud! nUn
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
your voice is beautiful, though! I love everything you come up with!
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:iconfeatherback:
featherback Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Nawww, YOURS is bootiful! :la:
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:iconcubedg2:
Cubedg2 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm really conflicted here. This poem makes it easy for me to visualize, I just don't like the image presented.

All in all, fantastic imagery and wording!
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, I guess it stemmed from my negative emotion so it didn't come off very pretty. Thanks :)
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:iconmoonstruckbyshadow:
moonstruckbyshadow Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This poem doesn't sit well with me but I guess that's the intent
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
a little unpleasant compared to my usual.
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:iconmoonstruckbyshadow:
moonstruckbyshadow Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe so. Are you okay though? I listen to ya know works both ways
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I was just struggling with the fact I didn't like anything I was writing. Everything seemed to come out wrong.
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:iconmoonstruckbyshadow:
moonstruckbyshadow Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The same happens to me you can't force it you just let it flow the instant you let your frustrations go you will write music notes on that sheet. :)
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Student Writer
But fingers to type them with! >< :tighthug:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, I meant more I don't have the mouth to form them properly. It's a weird feeling o.O
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Student Writer
Why, what's wrong with your mouth? O_O
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I overused it! :O
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Student Writer
=D Oh my.
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:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Student Writer
Psh, I'll take your lack of a mouth over mine....this is amazing! Although is there a reason a period is on the second to last line, it makes the rhythm stutter...especially with and being the first word of the next line.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
OOPS fixed it, thanks! :)
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:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Student Writer
You are welcome!
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