Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
I dream of the ocean;
that paper-thin line where
the current swallows the stars
and the water churns violet

(you tell me to be
quiet,

dandelion queen, we've
heard all these words before)

tonight
I will sleep heavy
and wake a few hours before dawn,
only to forget my name

my wave-weathered heart will cry,
I will cry (my biggest fear
is drowning in too many
of my own weighted words

you tell me to be
quiet
so I can hear the world breathe)

I want to go home
(i live near the coast, i wish the water was really that romantic)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is really lovely. I particularly like the first stanza. Your poetry shines.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're so sweet :love:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
once again, the second half of this poem really gets me.
i absolutely adore it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
of course! <3
Reply
:iconrandomphilosopher:
randomphilosopher Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's like I can hear you breathing when I read this poem... and the rise and fall of the ocean's waves. Well done.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
wow, what a compliment :love:
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
At least you live near the coast, I live in a city full of dust and grunchy people. How's that for romantic?

As for the poem, I'm at loss for words! :heart::heart::heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha, you can make romance out of anything.

and thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
aww you're welcome! :huggle:
Reply
:iconaquarius-claire:
Aquarius-Claire Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Student Writer
holyshit wow

sometimes i start to lose hope for poetry on DA and then i read a poem like this and it's like FAITH RESTORED! great job<3
Reply
:iconaquarius-claire:
Aquarius-Claire Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Student Writer
You're so welcome. Thanks for your writing! <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahhh this is one of the best comments ever thankyousomuch :heart::heart::heart:
Reply
:iconsunrayelle:
Sunrayelle Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love that first verse... powerful imagery <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconsunrayelle:
Sunrayelle Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem :)
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Student Writer
It can be. It is all in how one views the world.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I suppose it would be to people who don't see it as often, it's so open and mysterious.
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Student Writer
Yup :huggle:
Reply
:icongolden-leaves:
Golden-Leaves Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
One of my favorites. There is such a sweet longing to it, as well as a soft innocence. Bellissima, cara!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that's exactly what I'd hoped for, thank you so much :love:
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Why is this so damn beautiful? Seriously.

And I live near a dirty muddy river full of dead fish and oil. Trust me; your coast is much more romantic. :|
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
maybe because the person reading it is beautiful? just an idea

haha, and your river can be romantic in the right words! :la:
Reply
:iconnixitrixi:
nixitrixi Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
your work has been featured here: [link]
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i love features so much! thank you, i cannot wait to read the other entries :love:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you tell me to be
quiet
so I can hear the world breathe)

I want to go home


--I liked these lines best. they have an oddly vivid image in them.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad, I usually have such a difficult time with conclusions
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:thumbsup:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Student Writer
(maybe it is that romantic, sometimes, but you have to have the right soul and be there at the right moment to feel it)

Anyway, I love this, and the way the title corresponds so perfectly just, gah, is beautiful! :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so glad to hear that, I got the title in my head and wanted to write a poem around it :heart: thank you!
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome! It's really cool to know that's how this poem was written! :heart:
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconintricately-ordinary: More from intricately-ordinary


Featured in Collections

Literature by Copperfrost

Treasured Literature by LadyLincoln

ENGLISH LANGUAGE by lombregrise


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
May 14, 2013
File Size
705 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
668
Favourites
53 (who?)
Comments
31
×