Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
an angel drifts at the edge of the sky
with dwindling wings, she murmurs 'genesis'
and extends her fingers to try
and catch the pieces of a broken world

"sometimes we just need to burn
to have a way to light up the night"

the ground collapses upwards, and the
clouds come tumbling down-- the stars
awake and smile, they set fire to
desiccate all blinded faith

the masses watch on; glazed eyes,
broken spines, excised tongues-- they
are seduced by the twinkling lights

"destruction breeds beauty and
it seems to go both ways"

as the day decays, their time shatters
until those knuckle-dragging fools
find broken moment shrapnel
deep within their flesh

and the oceans scream out,
washing over their wounds to prove
it can never happen again

"if you have guilt, don't
you think you might deserve it?"

the moon eclipses and the angel
decides the battle was lost
long before it began

she kisses the remnants
of a forsaken land, tenderly

"in the end,
we all
die
alone"
For the Theme of the Month Contest.

"Deliver me from reasons why"
The sweetest goodbye, in my mind, is when even innocence abandons you.
Add a Comment:
 
:icontehpassenger:
TehPassenger Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome :D
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Student Writer
Oh dear...everything collapses towards the middle and chaos would ensue were people not blinded by their own needs...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
sometimes falling apart is inevitable. Chaos is as reliable as normality, in that sense.
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Student Writer
That's very true.
Reply
:iconsirweston:
sirweston Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
While you stretch the imagery on occasion (seriously, "insipid wings"?), on the whole a perfect fit for the theme and a great poem.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
...I changed that phrase, now D:
Reply
:iconsirweston:
sirweston Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I feel like you're your harshet critic, but I like to send a little contsructive criticism your way.
Sorry for the errors. I'm typing from an e-reader.
Reply
:iconunspecifiedunknown:
UnspecifiedUnknown Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012   Writer
"destruction breeds beauty and
it seems to go both ways"

Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
all the prettiest things are disastrous in their own way
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh sweety this is lovely on so many levels...
"sometimes we just need to burn
to have a way to light up the night"
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
I heard something similar in a movie from a girl who was fading away along with everyone she knew. It's a sad mentality, but an interesting one, I think.
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:iconstewiewtfplz: brainhurts... cannot think when this emotional or caffeinated
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012
This is extremely interesting, and very well described! The imagery is breathtaking and powerful. The tone is rather sad! The angel seems rather detached. I couldn't help but think of the version of Gabrielle used in the movie Constantine. (I think I always think of that though when angels and demons are mentioned lol)
"if you have guilt, don't
you think you might deserve it?"
That is very dangerous line! A dangerous line indeed! I know in a lot of cases, the accounts of people doing some of the most sickly and horrendous of things, do not feel bad about it. They don't feel guilt the way others do. (such as sociopaths) They don't register that they did anything wrong. They can't feel another's feelings. Guilt is such a necessary thing, but it can be used as a weapon so unnecessarily. People made to feel ashamed or guilty for being who they are. It can be a trained thing, an automatic thing, feeling guilty just because someone is angry. It may give the urge to the "guilty" to want to make others happy, even if the others are the ones who are guilty.

The final line feels like the final goodbye as you mentioned. I feel as though the "watchers" gave up a long long time ago and were just waiting for this moment, perhaps? Definitely thought provoking!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I have not seen that movie, although now I should! I was trying to depict a post-apocalyptic world that deserved to be forsaken.

In response to that quote, I honestly hadn't thought about it being dangerous, although I see why it is. I was watching a psychological movie (and I write quotes from movies because I'm weird like that.) In it, a girl was going to a psychologist to deal with past trauma from a complicated story I won't go into-- but basically, she was in an incident with another boy where someone died in accidentally. Her therapist was telling her not to hold on to her guilt, and she replied with that quote. I put it in in that context: should you excuse your misdeeds just because they weren't entirely your fault? isn't there a reason you have those emotions that you are being told to let go? It's only now I realize, with your very valid points, that I'm treading a dangerous line. Although, I suppose with the sense of abdication in this piece, it may be alright. (Thank you for pointing it out.)
Actually, all the quotes I included were from various shows and movies that had been running through my mind.

I think that's an excellent way to look at the ending. I was trying to emphasize the inevitability in the matter, which easily coincides with the fact they "gave up a long long time ago" as you said.

Thank you so very much for the thoughtful comment and kind words, :huggle: sorry for the essay- like response xD
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012
haha I do not mind the essay at all! What movie was it? I'd love to see it one day! It's definitely a very good thought provoking quote and was definitely fitting with the way I saw how the angel was watching the world collapse, although I might have gone off track with it and my thinking. Thank you for sharing! This creativity in this piece is excellent. :love:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
(I am such a loser... I couldn't remember the movie name for such a long time xD) It is called "Apart." There were a lot of good quotes hiding in there, but then again, I have an addiction with quoting everything!
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012
I do sometimes too! :tighthug: :heart: (sorry it takes me so long to respond) I will have to look for that movie somehow. I have a list of movies and books to check out just not the time to get around to them yet =(
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012  Student Writer
How does the ground collapse upward but the clouds still fall?

Excellent imagery and I'm not sure I would call that the sweetest goodbye, the saddest maybe.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Everything turns back on itself and the world falls apart, it is the end.
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Student Writer
True enough....
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconintricately-ordinary: More from intricately-ordinary


Featured in Collections

Words, words, words... by Kublakhan27

writing by Hfeather53


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
October 15, 2012
File Size
1.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
377
Favourites
18 (who?)
Comments
21
×