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1.
i wake up and tear the sun
from the sky like this is a
grade school art project and i
am supposed to share something
worthy of myself-- i think

there is a black hole nestled
betwixt my lonely ribs,
devouring anything alive.

on days like these, my greatest weakness
is weakness and i am my own fatal flaw.
we live by mantras and my ears ring
‘i hate every piece of me’

(he put his head to my chest
and heard me dying;

call me beautiful now)

2.
we are the false ends of sunken
universes, we are pieces of
dead galaxies and you are
stardust,  god, you are

beautiful.

i believe that this is all just a dream
by someone with an imagination
bigger than the word “no,” that we
are pawns in a game not worth
remembering, but when i’m with you

i’m real.

i never took kindly to things
that required codependency,
the uncalloused portion
of my frostbitten heart

but god, you are
beautiful.
two unrelated poems

2) i love a friend and i wanted to be able to tell her why
1) my head is not so good right now

i think they go together but my judgment might not be the best at this moment (refer to 1)
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
They really do come together, lovely. :heart:

"but when i’m with you i’m real." so simple and yet so stunning. This whole thing is, really. Your writing is all the time, really.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
asljdaljfsa stop being so wonderful :tighthug:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Student Writer
nuuu neverrrr :huggle:
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:iconlawlessness45:
Lawlessness45 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
we are the false ends of sunken 
universes, we are pieces of
dead galaxies and you are
stardust,
 
 I love the metaphor here. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i suppose it is a metaphor, but i meant it literally, too ;p we're made of the atoms of exploded stars
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:iconlawlessness45:
Lawlessness45 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. I didn't even think of that! Ha...in that case, great literal usage. 
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love both of these poems implicitly for their familiarity and honesty and I must say, both resonate so much. The first was me, years ago and the second :giggle: the second is me (in many ways) every day. You are so perfect and brilliant.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3 thanks so much
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome, Miss Intricately Extraordinary :D
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:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconrandomphilosopher:
randomphilosopher Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hahaha, yeah, they go together!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconnevarware:
Nevarware Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Is that a Red King reference?
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
no, i can't say i'd know or have planned that reference
Reply
:iconnevarware:
Nevarware Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
The Red King is a character in Through The Looking Glass who is always asleep. The characters occasionally speculate as to whether the entirety of existence is just a dream of his. The concept of 'life is someone's dream' is common enough to just be coincidence, but I thought the mention of pawns may have been indicative that the similarities had been on purpose.

The Red King is also the reason why the beautiful acrostic at the end of the book, that got unfortunately mangled by Disney's crass adaptation, ends on the stanza:

    Ever drifting down the stream —
    Lingering in the golden gleam —
    Life, what is it but a dream?
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i was making my own statement about my personal feeling of inconsequentiality but i really love that. i can definitely see where you drew the reference from. thank you for sharing it with me <3
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013
The first stanza is catching and haunting.  you're imagery, like always, is top notch. This is an awesome poem.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :tighthug:
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much for such an honor!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    My pleasure :happybounce:
Reply
:iconsomethingsophie:
somethingsophie Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013   Writer
there is so much passionate feeling in this. i would love to run away with your words. :rose:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you are so lovely :heart:
Reply
:iconmomo-madness:
momo-madness Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013   Writer
you have the loveliest way with words :rose:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that's such a compliment! i am smitten with your work :love:
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:iconmomo-madness:
momo-madness Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013   Writer
i giggled at this comment because i adore the word smitten :blush:

(but seriously, that means the world to me since i've admired you from afar for a long time but never had the courage to introduce myself!)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahh i've felt the exact same way, you're so talented i've never had the write words to comment
Reply
:iconmomo-madness:
momo-madness Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013   Writer
well i'm glad we're finally able to communicate now :aww: i go by the name momo on dA, but you can call me mo if you'd like!
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
i think they complement each other very well. they are disconnected but share a word bank and some tendrils that give them just enough to belong together.

i really love the first stanza of 2. "sunken universes" in particular was a wonderful image.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i was hoping it would be like that.

and thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconadmiralsilv:
AdmiralSilv Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Heartfelt.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Student Writer
Feeling of being.... It's like... a matter of existence? I think ^^ Beautiful~
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you <3
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student Writer
Welcome :)
Reply
:icongreenleo94:
greenleo94 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
They work beautifully together! :heart: :love:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi

this is the literature police

I'm afraid I'll have to arrest your writing for being too damn beautiful and deep and emotional and asdfgh

/shot

But seriously...all of your poetry just reaches into my chest and squeezes my heart and reminds me that I'm alive.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh no :noes:

you remind me why i write :tighthug: thank you
Reply
:iconschneekrahe:
schneekrahe Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
whoever 2 is about is the luckiest person in the world to have such beautiful words woven for them by such an expert hand
and 1 is gorgeous in its devastation
and apparently i am feeling flowery today haha. but god you're incredible and i was going to pick a favourite quote but i can't because it's all just so fhasmhfmhaf
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahhhhh ;u; thank you soso much

and flowery is good, i hope you continue to feel like that :la:
Reply
:iconschneekrahe:
schneekrahe Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you're soso welcome <3 and i hope i do too haha it feels nice being able to words
Reply
:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013   Writer
number two, all of it :heart: this goes well together. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :love:
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
on days like these, my greatest weakness
is weakness and i am my own fatal flaw.

This part made me stop breathing.


I think you managed to tie them together quite well, by weaving the 'space' imagery throughout - even frostbitten, which seems out of place at first, just goes back to how cold it is in space.

I just - I reread this and I still can't breathe.
we are the false ends of sunken
universes
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
asdkghshdasl you always say things that make my day :love: thank you so much for all your kindness <3
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And you always write poetry that changes my night. <3
So any time. c:
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Student General Artist
'i believe that this is all just a dream
by someone with an imagination
bigger than the word “no”'


huihrejkwlaijguyhtreijirjtrejtwjhuwhatareyoudoingmakingwordsthatbeautiful?!?! :'D You're amazing, darling.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahhh :blush: you are far too kind. thank you!!
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Student General Artist
:tighthug:
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