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it seems that by now I’ve been diagnosed
with a mild case of weightlessness, mindless
drifting past empty homes and the emptier people
that purchased them.  I remember conversations

with you about existentialism
and the almost intricate fabric of my mind and
everything in between, and you-- the way you
paused before making a point as
the words defined themselves in your head:

I remember the day I told you I was God.
Creator of all things unimportant, trapped
in the body of a girl with nothing left to give, you
believed me

it must be a beautiful place
inside your head, with a world
that revolves around hope and expectations
the way it was supposed to; all
storybook-perfect like the
wars promise we’ll one day
become

[I’d like to think that every great leader
once cried themselves to sleep wondering
if they’d ever mean anything and
did things to stand out like smoking
or drinking or pretending to be someone
they’re not and every morning they’d tilt
their head in the mirror trying to find the angle
where things just looked “right,” before deciding
they were worth more than that,

just to know I’ve got somewhere to go]

to whom it may concern,
forget me as soon as you can. replace me
with the constellations in the sky
the shimmer of the waves and the
gossamer webs tying you down
to a life you weren’t ready for;

people keep trying to save me with things like
self-preservation and religion and social
obligations and novels about all the ways
I should be ashamed of myself and
The Path to fix it
 (step one: become someone new
  step two: repeat)

I feel like I lost my voice on
all these people who don’t understand me,
proclaiming these words I’ve said
a million times before because
I still cannot hear them. adulthood
is slowly going deaf and calling it wisdom,

I guess it’s about time
I grew up.
I'm trying out new things because I've been frustrated with my writing for a while. Still not quite happy with this.

true story: i once told a boy i was God and he believed me
truer story: people keep wanting to fix me like i'm broken
Add a Comment:
 
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
First off, you're not broken. I want you to be happier (and I'm sure you want that too; we all want that for ourselves, right?), but that's quite different.

Secondly, growing up is really overrated. And once we grow up, I think we lose a little of the magic that is us. So don't do it completely.

And thirdly, this is fantastic. Just fantastic. I really tried to pull out some of my favorite lines here, and I couldn't do it, because the whole thing is my favorite. You just...you just take things that are so universal to the human condition and then so uniquely you and just say them as perfectly as it can ever be said. You are wonderful and I am just so incredibly glad to have found you and your beautiful words. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahhh thank you so much :love: every once in a while I wonder why I'm still writing, and someone leaves a comment like this that makes me remember the importance of it all. growing up really is overrated, but thank you for your sentiments and kindness <3 they mean the world to me
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love:
Reply
:icondeaths-lament:
Deaths-Lament Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful and heart breaking and undeniably true.. I feel like this needs to be shown to everyone in the world, stamped on buildings and embedded in the minds of every person ever. I  feel like you just wrote down the words imprinted on the souls and hearts of hundreds of people and I've been left speechless by the beauty of it. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh god this is such a wonderful comment, i am absolutely touched to know you feel that way :heart: thank you so much
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student Writer
"all
storybook-perfect like the
wars promise we’ll one day
become"

"(step one: become someone new
step two: repeat)"


we're all a little messed up. that's alright. i like to believe that the right in people outweighs the wrong. at least, it should. :hug:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i like to believe that, too :tighthug:
Reply
:iconfuzzforbrains:
fuzzforbrains Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Student Writer
Perfection. I've felt this way a thousand times and yet your words remind me of the bittersweet beauty of not knowing who you are and what you are to do in this life.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Student Writer
:heart: This is so beautiful. I love all of your writing.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Student Writer
You're so welcome! :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Maddie, my dear, you are swimming in a big fat pool of wisdom and I'm pretty positive the folks trying to fix you need to wise up. I love your voice in this.

Also, random lyric from one of my favorite songs:

All that's sacred, comes from youth
Dedication, naive and true
With no power, and fuckin' nothing to do
I still remember, why don't you...don't you...


"Not For You" - Pearl Jam
(I instantly thought of that song when I read this. It fits the notion perfectly.)

You're beautiful. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahh, you're just absolutely lovely :love: thank you so much
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Mmhmm.. :heart::aww:
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
People try to "fix" as well. Don't worry, you're not the only one.If you like who you are, you don't need to change.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much <3
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The first line utterly hooked me, but

to whom it may concern,
forget me as soon as you can. replace me
with the constellations in the sky
the shimmer of the waves and the
gossamer webs tying you down
to a life you weren’t ready for;


is my favorite, so completely, and

adulthood
is slowly going deaf and calling it wisdom,


is the most perfect description of adulthood in the world. I also adore the idea that
(step one: become someone new
step two: repeat)

is the way to be saved - like you have to destroy yourself over and over again in order to save yourself, it's scary and beautiful and I can identify all too well.
So even if it's not a perfect poem, thank you for sharing it. <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
your comments always make my day and remind me why i write <3 thank you so much for all your support and for really understanding what i was trying to say :huggle: it means the world to me
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Contrary as it might be, the fact that my comments mean so much to you means a lot to me. <3 You are always welcome and I will do my best to keep it up. c:
Reply
:iconintroverted-ghost:
introverted-ghost Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013   Writer
[I’d like to think that every great leader
once cried themselves to sleep wondering
if they’d ever mean anything and
did things to stand out like smoking
or drinking or pretending to be someone
they’re not and every morning they’d tilt
their head in the mirror trying to find the angle
where things just looked “right,” before deciding
they were worth more than that,

just to know I’ve got somewhere to go]
- I absolutely adore this section. Particularly the first three lines. It's really a beautiful thing to think about.

As for the rest, I do love it. I'd call it Peter Pan Syndrome, though. The incapability or disinterest in growing up regardless of whether or not you know you should. (That's my definition, anyway.)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart: and that seems like an incredibly fitting syndrome, haha. i've certainly been afflicted with it for a while.
Reply
:iconintroverted-ghost:
introverted-ghost Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013   Writer
You are most welcome. Made it up myself, :giggle:
Reply
:iconpatrikia-bear:
Patrikia-Bear Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That part with the two steps really struck me. Love it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconstarlightshoals:
StarlightShoals Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Student Writer
Hmm...I don't normally pay much attention to front-page successes, the really popular stuff that everyone fawns over, but this particular piece has such soul and originality in its writing that I just...have...to fave it...

I think my favorite part is in brackets. I think they call those brackets, not parentheses, but I'm not really sure. O_O

Anyway, I'm impressed!!! :happybounce:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
aw, i'm so delighted to hear that :heart: thank you very much!
Reply
:iconninjakiller221:
ninjakiller221 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013
This is the 2nd time I've seen your work and only noticed by your profile pic lol! You do a really good job and I wish there was a way to subscribe or Somthin. Owell :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahaha, well if you like, you can "watch" me which will let you see any new pieces or journals or polls i put up. i think that's what you meant by subscribe?

and thank you very much :heart:
Reply
:iconninjakiller221:
ninjakiller221 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
How would I go about doing that? I only have my iPod couse I need a new computer and am limited on what I can do on it!
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013
The line between forcing a perspective on and being a good thing in someone's life is awfully fine.
Sometimes a lack of joy and wonderful can seem so misplaced that one just has to try.

They only fail because the same lack is not so misplaced within them.

That which should be better is for you -- not of you.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
it's still incredibly difficult to have everyone try and make you someone else when you're simply not that person.
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
I understand.

You don't have to like it. Just know the difference between those who mean well and those who are well with mean.

Those who are not advocates of who you are will be replaced by others in time.
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
some really great lines in there.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconschneekrahe:
schneekrahe Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"to whom it may concern,
forget me as soon as you can. replace me
with the constellations in the sky
the shimmer of the waves and the
gossamer webs tying you down
to a life you weren’t ready for;

people keep trying to save me with things like
self-preservation and religion and social
obligations and novels about all the ways
I should be ashamed of myself and
The Path to fix it
(step one: become someone new
step two: repeat)"

fjaskdlfdjakl these stanzas, quite apart from the absolutely gorgeous imagery you weave so well, kinda hit me in the face with "yeah me too" and it hurt in all the right ways. you're incredible aghghgh
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
sdjahkhgsahdsj thank you so much :heart: i'm so glad to know someone else feels the same
Reply
:iconschneekrahe:
schneekrahe Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
me too akldfjslkf your poetry is such a comfort to me all the time <3
Reply
:iconxxkrazyxkidxx:
XxKrAzYxKiDxX Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Student General Artist
wow did I love that....
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013
Absolutely. Fantastic.

Growing up is overrated, though. Also, something struck me deeply about the idea of wars promising that one day we will be better.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
growing up really is way overdone and romanticized.

and you're lovely :heart:
Reply
:iconsnowjoe72:
snowjoe72 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013
Oh, we're all broken inside somewhere... No one is perfect, Hell is actually the world we live in sometimes, and people only smile to make themselves think happiness is possible for more than about 30 seconds. Love, faith, hope, and luck are all just demons in disguise that escaped Pandora's box when some stupid primitive human discovered what death was and started to gain power by holding it over the heads of everyone they knew. The world kept going, humans barely changed, and now we all secretly know that all life is essentially meaningless once it is over. So we just go about our day and try to be SOMEBODY in the hallucinating hopes of thinking we matter more than any given speck of dirt on the ground in the forest of madness we call our minds......-_-"

And THAT is what I would say if I were emo! But I'm not, and things are just as boringly normal as always. Whatever.... At least I'm not dead. And that is something to be happy about. So in celebration of that, here is the same smiley emoticon I put at the end of almost every message! Enjoy!! :) (Sorry, Pringles make me weird. XD )
Reply
:iconbluezbreakr:
Bluezbreakr Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
:iconwatpls:
Reply
:iconsnowjoe72:
snowjoe72 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
EXACTLY! XD (I'm just weird like that. I occasionally use my imaginative weirdness to confuse people for fun. If they make sense of what I say, then they get a gold star in my book! But don't worry, I don't look down on anyone. I'm no better than anyone else really, so I guess you can just consider it as whatever it sounds like it means to you. Interpret it any way you like. Or just ignore it like the pure nonsense that most of it usually is. XD )
Reply
:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Professional Writer
'Creator of all things unimportant, trapped
in the body of a girl with nothing left to give, you
believed me'

:thumbsup:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Student Writer
This leaves me speechless and breathless almost with tears in my eyes because every word is so true and I would quote it, word for word, every single line and say "this is what I loved best" if you asked me what I loved about it, so absolutely stunning and real and... so much.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahh you're so lovely :heart: i'm touched to know you like it so much, thank you :tighthug:
Reply
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