Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconintricately-ordinary: More from intricately-ordinary


Featured in Collections

Favorite Literature by DrippingWords

Literature by SomethingOnceSacred

Literature by Khaimin


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
July 25, 2013
File Size
1.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,402
Favourites
90 (who?)
Comments
48
×
It begins with a bang.

I forget to eat for a few months and
I drown in cheap ideas with pretty names,
the ones they fill books and barren wrists
and stormy heads with, and soon,
moonlight shines from inside
my ribs and I am a lighthouse.

Thank you for the things you gave me,
intrinsically, a knowledge of
how to properly wear
myself. Thank you

for not fixing me.

I used to write about the color
of your voice, always blue-- the sky
before I fell asleep and the morning
dragging me back; I wonder

that you could’ve loved me better
if you explained who the
Something was that shared your bed
at night, or why insincere words

were your favorite.

My poems still cling to my skin
even when I sleep. even when
I wake, an anchor. even when
I boil myself alive and unfold
like a pallid lily inside your
heavy hands;

and after enough time,
I forget to say goodbye.

Today,

I pick the scabs on my hips,
kiss the sorry out of your smile,
and breathe like this air
isn’t already a million years old.
it ends in a whimper.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkillzonekrissy:
killzonekrissy Featured By Owner May 25, 2014
this is beautiful and amazing :(  it sounds gut-wrenchingly painful, heart-breaking and sad. I'm so sorry. :( I wish I weren't beginning to know the feeling myself, but your pain is inspiring and thank you for putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as it were).
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much for your support
Reply
:iconfallenfromthemoon:
fallenfromthemoon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Oh my god, this piece is beautiful. I love your work. :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconfluffy333:
fluffy333 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your words are so beautiful. You create such beautiful imagery with your words.:heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're far too kind, thank you <3
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
:O

Can I just love you forever?? Wonderful concept, beautifully executed. :heart::heart: You're a star.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
yes please do love me forever :heart::heart:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Student Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
... not a bang Sorry, that just came to mind ;D

I missed you and your words so much, thank you for reminding me of the deep, abiding heart that beats in all of your work and words and for sharing it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle:
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle: :D
Reply
:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
perfect balance between emotion and imagery. Love it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
moonlight shines from inside
my ribs and I am a lighthouse.

This image is impossibly stuck in my head. I think this poem is a little less connected to itself than usual, so it's a little more disjointed and harder to sink into (in my opinion, which ultimately means little), but you as always have those particular moments that are hard to forget. <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I had a hard time, while writing, trying to link together some of the thoughts I had so I did a lot of rearranging. I see definitely what you mean. thank you so much for your feedback <3
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I understand. c: And you're welcome - I hope you don't mind that I pointed out something that didn't work as well for me this time, instead of only the parts I love?
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that's how i improve <3 it means a lot to me, any comment i get from you.
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
<3 it is my pleasure, truly.
Reply
:iconq-u-w:
q-u-w Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013
i love you.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
 :heart:
Reply
:iconhalf-pixieman:
half-pixieman Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Student Writer
Breathtaking as always, if you published a poetry book I would buy it just saying
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahhh thank you <3 i may someday but right now that's so intimidating
Reply
:iconmskels:
mskels Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Gosh, I love a good ending. I for-see a lot of faves coming your way from my way. This is wonderful.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconhgfdsasdfgh:
hgfdsasdfgh Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Oh, this is gorgeous. I think it's one  of my favorites of your's. :) It just translates really well, and you can almost feel it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh wow, it's always wonderful to hear that :heart: thank you
Reply
:iconhgfdsasdfgh:
hgfdsasdfgh Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student General Artist
You're very welcome. :)
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Damn...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student Writer
"Thank you for not fixing me" This line... it just spoke out to me the most. I could pick out many others, all of them, but... this one is the one the speaks to me. Thank you, for speaking to me :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for being so kind <3
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student Writer
:)
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student Writer
This is just beautiful and haunting all at the same time.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student Writer
You're so welcome! :heart:
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This one hurt to read. A lot. It was gorgeous and haunting and rips your soul out of your chest.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much, i'm glad it was able to stir any emotion <3
Reply
:icondifferentialme:
DifferentialME Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student General Artist
One of my favorites of yours so far.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haunting, beautiful, surreal. I have chills after reading this. :+favlove: Honestly, I think this is one of your best.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :heart: and i'm so glad to hear that, because it's probably one of my rawest
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Raw is powerful.
Reply
:icontyrison:
Tyrison Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student Writer
This is the way the world ends;
not with a bang but a whimper.

Beautiful.  I love the imagery, the ideas, and the flow and life and breath you gave it all.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :love:
Reply
:icontyrison:
Tyrison Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome! ^^
Reply
:iconpalaeochannel6:
palaeochannel6 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
One of the most haunting, beautiful things I have read in a long time. Thank you for this.


I want to show this to a girl. But she's gone. And maybe that's why this poem hurts so good.

In any event, top notch writing. I am a fan <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh wow, this comment means the world to me, i admire you so incredibly much.

thank you <3 i'm honored it reminded you of her, i'm sorry she's gone.
Reply
Add a Comment: