literature

Innocent Purge

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intricately-ordinary's avatar
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Literature Text

fingers not full grown
still manage to pull free
undesired calories
and a mother's fear
    "honey, please"
    says the mom who has too many
    worries and wrinkles for
    her daughter of nine
    "please"
    tears spring forth
    from wells not seen
    since her own pitiful choices
    "you're already beautiful,
    and there are so many better ways
    please, please, please
    don't make my same mistakes"

tiny fingers just long enough
to grasp at insecurities
and struggle with feelings
of inadequacy
I want to be pretty

drain her empty
in the filthiest of cleansings
the mind of a child can't comprehend irony,
and that is her only solution

    "but mommy" she chirps "I'm fat"

off-white porcelain
stained with promises of perfection
from a girl too young
to know the consequences
(or the reasons)

she smiles a broken smile
because she's almost there
and she's unaware
she lost part of herself she'll never get back

    "please, don't do what I did. please, don't be like me." "but mommy," she says "I already am"

and the cycle repeats
I'm not quite sure how I feel about this one. I mean, part of me wants to delete it right now. Then again, I'm not quite sure about most things I write about myself.

This is for #APictureToA1000Words Back to Your Roots contest. Written about something personal.

I was a weird nine year old. Feedback is welcome.

EDIT: I placed first in the contest, alongside the lovely ~Contradictory55, [link]. It's truly an honor. Thank you.
© 2012 - 2024 intricately-ordinary
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backasswardsK's avatar
Heartbreaking, even more so due to the age and the cycle itself.

It touched me especially because someone I love dearly struggled with an eating disorder for years, and still struggles with how he feels about himself and his weight.