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:iconintricately-ordinary: More from intricately-ordinary


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ENGLISH LANGUAGE by lombregrise

All The Poets Come To Life by flummo

Treasured Literature by LadyLincoln


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Submitted on
August 17, 2013
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it's come to this-- definitions
of memories and people and dreams
I’ll never know firsthand like reasons for living;
this realization that I
am a stagnant planet, lost
on its orbit home; this

search for a justification
to keep on breathing ocean
when my lungs won’t tolerate
salt. I woke today in the water

to angels swimming around my feet;
coral, pearlescent anchors dragging me
down, down, sweetly lullabying
about you, dear, and the day
the tides washed you away.

you are written in my skin
as much as the lies I live by
daily. you are the beautiful things:

the sun waking up in the morning, the
stars pitying at me as I try to fall asleep.
the watercolor sky sighing, the
virgin clouds crying, the last note

suiciding itself into silence.
these are the thoughts that come after goodbye
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:iconvergilusphoenix:
vergilusphoenix Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:")... -watery eyes-
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love:
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: That last line.....gosh.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You caper beautifully with the imagery, yet the parting theme remains cohesive and self-contained. Your writing is one of the most amazing in this world.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I could easily say the same of you. You are still one of the biggest reasons I continue to write.
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013
You'd think as a poet, i'd have all sorts of pretty words to tell you how wonderful this is. I don't. You've left me speechless.

"the sun waking up in the morning, the
stars pitying at me as I try to fall asleep.
the watercolor sky sighing, the
virgin clouds crying, the last note

suiciding itself into silence."

just wow. Frickin amazing.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahh :blush: you are always too kind to me
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:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013
no such thing as too kind my dear. :) you are a brilliant poet and a tragically beautiful soul. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Just know there are people you've never met who adore and respect you greatly.
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013
i love watching you improve.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i love being able to improve
Reply
:iconberlinbuenosayres:
berlinBuenosAyres Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
oi, very nice. sweet like the spanish romantics i'd say. and i'm no poet, know nothing about metrics and structure and shite, but the last single line i would keep it with the whole previous stanza.
the after goodbye is such a powerful state of mind, no? i was compelled to make a poem about such things too, when my flatmate left. i understand now these kind of things.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the feedback. i think i like the last line standing on its own, though. and, yeah, i don't think goodbyes are ever really "good"
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:iconchewyraezen:
chewyraezen Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
the last line is brilliant. beautiful write!
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
been busy, haven't had time to really read this, sorry

it's fucking gorgeous. of course. your work always is. poignant, painful, but so worth reading.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
trust me, i've been busy too ;-; thank you for still reading, your comments mean the world to me :hug:
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That last line, wow. But really this whole thing is beautiful. Saying goodbye can be such a delicate process, and you've captured it perfectly. I like how some of this imagery, at least to me, stops just short of being violent, but there's still so much motion overall.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm absolutely honored to hear that, thank you <3
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I
am a stagnant planet, lost
on its orbit home; this

search for a justification
to keep on breathing ocean
when my lungs won’t tolerate
salt. I woke today in the water


I'm loving your cycle of planets and sea imagery, they interact in such beautiful ways. <3


Oh, and
you are written in my skin
as much as the lies I live by
daily.

is perfect.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahaha I'm so infatuated with those ideas, it's how I see the world. thank you so much <3
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:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2013  Student Writer
This is just gorgeous. Wonderful imagery.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much!
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:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome! :heart:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2013  Student Writer
If I had to quote my favourite line, it would be the entire poem :)
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're too sweet :love:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013  Student Writer
:huggle: Psh, I'm the perfect amount of sweetness ;p
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:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Professional Writer
love it :rose:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :heart:
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Just............incredible done, Maddie. This is beautiful. :heart:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug: thank you so much
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure. :tighthug:
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