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Submitted on
December 15, 2012
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36 (who?)
it's the city that makes you,
she says when her industrialized eyes
start to flicker. her heart rushes
like a subway falling late and
the patterns in her skin remind you of
striated architecture (reminds you of how
everything's human in its own way)

we're precarious concrete skeletons
crafted by men praying we won't fall,
and we yearn- you know- we ache
for a sense of vitality and being to
enter us and make us more than a
pale ghost of an engineer's dreams and

maybe we have our own shadowy corners,

commotion exists betwixt her ears and
she's a destination, a place to rest and
catch your breath but not to settle
down because the moment you blink
smog will steal the stars and she will
already have travelled on.

yet when she slept that night, she cried
graffiti tears that stained her cheeks
in a way some might consider artistic;
she says there's never enough time
to complete the things we promised
and one way roads only ever lead
farther from the people we used to be.

[when you wonder how long
it takes a person to give up,
she has no answer]

she is wrapped over and through with
caution tape and scandals, she's covered
in abrasive pavement and she tries to tell you
she is too expansive to nestle down in but
you don't believe her, and she's right.

the city never leaves.
She is heavily trafficked but not nearly as beautiful as she’d once hoped.
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featherback Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
commotion exists betwixt her ears and
she's a destination, a place to rest and
catch your breath but not to settle

I loved those lines so much. <3 Also it's a bit difficult getting back into reviewing so forgive me if I'm lacking in words. xD
intricately-ordinary Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
asdfghjklkjhgfds just having you back around is far more than enough, thank you so much for being so sweet :huggle:
DogmaticKerr Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Fascinatingly different - the personification paired with your always-vivid imagery leave a thoroughly alive building in its wake :heart:
Thank you so much! :heart:
DogmaticKerr Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:bow: you're welcome Miss Intricately!
This is just perfect! :heart:
Thank you so much! :huggle:
From start to finish, I'm torn between imagining a building and imagining a person, as far as "she" is concerned. It's absolutely beautiful, how you've blurred the line between the artificial and the human; how you've personified the building--really, it takes my breath away.

Your last line is, as always, a perfect finish to your work.
That is exactly what I'd hoped might happen! :la: An unclear separation between reality and perception. Thank you :huggle:
You are as welcome as always, dear. :heart:
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