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they buried you
with stars in your palms, because
they thought it was a crime
you'd never made a wish in your life

the dirt and darkness
was enough to extinguish
their dying lights

(it's okay, your silent skin
said, softly, I always wanted
the sky to bring me to sleep)


the priest begged, believing you
might rise from the hole
you'd dug for yourself

he wanted to let you know
there was something bigger than all of us,
someplace farther than 6 feet under

(I'm alright, your stony eyes
swore, sometimes falling
feels enough like flying)


their voices all filled with tears
even though you said you weren't worth
their worries, they wept for the future
you wouldn't get to live

(I wouldn't have lived it anyways,
you cooed)


they buried you
near the ocean, where the moon
always shone too bright
so you'd never again have to fear
any monsters of the night

they left flowers, photos, notes
and a little bit of themselves, too
when they finally left you

you believed it was right
even when  the moon fell, abandoned
and the monsters came to steal away
the memories you'd
discarded, along with all prior
awkward instances of mortality

you believed you were right

(I'm going to be fine, I
can make it on my own
you cried, you sighed, I'm
going to be fine and
maybe my dreams
really will come true
you called, you screamed)


but no one ever heard you.
[The first thing I've written that I've actually been proud of in a while.]

Got to thinking about the words some people never hear.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrandomlyinspired-21:
randomlyinspired-21 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Writer
This is so incredible! :heart: It really left me that lasting aura and impression, plus while I read I really felt every word... :heart:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That's what I had hoped to accomplish, I'm so happy. Thank you very much! :heart:
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:iconrandomlyinspired-21:
randomlyinspired-21 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Writer
Your welcome! :)
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012
Oh this is so sad. Your writing is always so powerful and full of emotion. Words come people never hear and words some people never say. I feel like this poem asks readers to really think about both. :heart:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
that is exactly it, I'm so honored you could pick it up. You are far too kind, your words build me up and make me feel so wonderful. Thank you so much! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012
My pleasure! :la: Thank YOU for sharing!
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
What a lovely, melancholy piece. I got sucked in at the first line, and have read it through at least three more times since XD

I love that the one the poem's speaking about seems to either live in this delusion of contentment, or be unwilling to let anyone know that they need help.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! That's so kind!

People are really interesting in that they both desire and deny help. I left this one really open for interpretation, and people saw what was close to them, I think. Some see a person caught up in lying to themselves, while others see someone struggling to be independent.

Again, thank you. You are fantastic :tighthug:
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Once again, it was my pleasure, of course! :hug:

I agree, people are strange creatures in that way. We are both complicated and simple, I think.

I really believe you've captured that aspect of humans wonderfully here, excellent work!
Reply
:iconpen-and-mouse:
Pen-and-mouse Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012
Absolutely amazing! :clap: :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconpen-and-mouse:
Pen-and-mouse Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
:huggle: :heart:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Student Writer
I'm just...you should be proud of this! :love:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aww! Thank you! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconunseen-reality:
Unseen-reality Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
this is fabulous. i love how he really attempts to convince everyone around him he's okay when he's not, it's something i think everyone can relate to. I especially love the first stanza, it's hauntingly beautiful and heart-bending. :rose:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so happy you could relate to it. And I'm so thrilled you could pull out my message, too, thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconvertigoart:
VertigoArt Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Professional Writer
You have reason to be proud. This is very well written. Only thing I would change is the double okay in the 3rd stanza. the second could be "your silent skin said so" Just my .02
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
What a compliment, thank you so much! And I did change that line, now, so thank you for the feedback.
Reply
:iconakercoke:
Akercoke Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012
Something about this, something about the first line about the stars in [your] palms, made me think this wasn't going to work. But it so did. I think this might be one of my favourites... And not just out of your personal bibliography.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You are far too kind to me :hug: Thank you.
Reply
:iconkymira12:
Kymira12 Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's so hauntingly beautiful. The first stanza captivates you and makes you finish reading. The last stanza with the last line just creates such a powerful impact that resonates within me that it just makes me love it even more. You did a great job writing this and I love it just as much as I love your other poems.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I wanted the last line to stand out and represent a lot of things. Thank you so much for the comment, it means a lot from such a beautiful writer :tighthug:
Reply
:iconkymira12:
Kymira12 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
This is wonderful. The first stanza is what really caught me and brought me in..and the last line is brilliant. This is a great piece of poetry.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, thank you so much. That means the world to me :heart:
Reply
:iconmarieellis-tolke:
MarieEllis-Tolke Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love the last line. It's almost jolting, for some reason. And I love how the emotions kind of mix together in it. It is really lovely and haunting.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. I was really hoping a lot of that would come through, I'm absolutely honored you think so. :heart:
Reply
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