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dehumanized:
I am a stirring in the breath
of an unswept sky, an itch
in the throat, a tear in
the lining of the sleeve you
keep fingering- like reminiscence
will repair loose strands

(I woke up this morning
in a new carcass, trapped,
by fleshed out flaws and
dismal dreams and the
hush hush thrum ,steady,
[pulsations are riddled with
intent] of my veins)

I am the dents in the floorboard
where boxes of I-can-never-forgets
lay, I am the aching cold of walls
untouched, I am the callouses
of your fingers forgetting
how to work.

(my voice will melt the icecaps,
it will draw all salt from
the ocean and carve a careful
coffin of carnal desires)

I am a cry cut short
in the home of the deaf-
I am skin, I am loose
sinew and sincerities mistakenly
stitched to the bones of a crow

and when the night clears I am
nothing but doll eyelashes and
spider legs, [at the end of the day
the two are indistinguishable]

I am nothing
I have no name.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
carve a careful
coffin of carnal desires
Hoo boy, that alliteration.
I particularly love the comparison of doll eyelashes and spider legs - gloriously creepy and empty-feeling. Also, the first two stanzas are beautiful.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow :love: thank you so much!
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"I am the dents in the floorboard
where boxes of I-can-never-forgets
lay, I am the aching cold of walls
untouched, I am the callouses
of your fingers forgetting
how to work."
<3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconzaquiastorm:
ZaquiaStorm Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
[at the end of the day the two are indistinguishable]

:tighthug:
SO MANY FEELS.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yay! so glad :heart:
Reply
:iconzaquiastorm:
ZaquiaStorm Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
:heart:

I need to stop waiting until you have a STACK of poems for me to read, before reading them! xD
I read them all one after the other and by halfway through, my brain is going, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING D:".
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hehe :D tell your brain to hush!
Reply
:iconzaquiastorm:
ZaquiaStorm Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Oh I do. :D hehe
Reply
:iconmothlets:
mothlets Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012   General Artist
wow
beautiful imagery and beautiful words and beautiful concept
very well done!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
... I don't have anything to say. I didn't understand the poem.

... yes, that's about it... I'd like to know what this poem is about...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"The Art of Detachment", separating from another person as they become only gestures and objects and images. I chose all the images really specifically to stay pertinent to that idea of trying to let go.
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh... So that was what this poem was about.

Okay. I'll take note of this. Thanks.
Reply
:iconevelyntaliette:
EvelynTaliette Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Student Writer
Hm. This brought a lot of things to mind. Particularly, an untouched and forgotten attic- a vague sort of remembering, though you're already dead and gone to the memories that live in the sealed boxes. Lovely poem as always, almost a sort of definition of the word detachment (if only poems could replace dictionaries!)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That's my intention, the depersonalization of memories and things that once meant a lot. and, my gosh! Thank you! That's the loveliest compliment! :heart:
Reply
:iconkoppo:
Koppo Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
when the nothing storm ceases , where will you be? nice piece.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
back where you started. thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconkoppo:
Koppo Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
I have no memory of that place.so lost? and yw.
Reply
:icontheantianti-drug:
TheAntiAnti-Drug Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Wow. Most of what I've seen of your gallery is very delicate and well-worded, but this poem really springs out at me. I love the rhythm and the way it steps lightly around emotions and weaves these really strong images...
You used words like weapons. ;D
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow! What a compliment, thank you so much! :heart: This was definitely my image-packed poem, I wanted to try and see if I could tell a story in pictures. Thank you again!
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Darkness and cold pervade this piece, to superb effect with the harrowing intimacy of the imagery - things so relate-able and so close. Impacting. There is a sort of delicious flow to second-to-last stanza... a treat to read aloud :D nicely crafted once again, Miss ^.^
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'd hoped to have a lasting impact, thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Miss Intricate, I would be surprised if you did not always have a lasting impact. :heart: You're welcome! :sing: And I can only imagine what your poetry sounds like when being read by you - it must be divine
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
wow. really hard-hitting with the emotions.

and lovely imagery as always.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so glad to hear that, thank you!
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome :)
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Forget what you know to find where you go. The path has been slain -- choked silent by flame. Glass only reflects in darkness that's left.

No souls found above sights of that which was. When the light shines through, the windows show you.

Names are for those who respond and pose. Your substance affords a path to be forged.

No one and nothing: nevermore.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You have the most eloquent way of speaking.

I suppose there's only one way to ever move on.
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
I know this has nothing to do with either of our comments or your writing, but the timing manages to be right ...

A truly merry Christmas to you :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
A Merry Christmas and early Happy Birthday to you, too :heart:
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
:)
Thank-you for the ongoing kindness. You do far too well for me.


P.S.

Did I tell you my birthday? Weird ...

Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your imagery is so beautiful. :heart: I love the lines:

and when the night clears I am
nothing but doll eyelashes and
spider legs,


Lovely work!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :heart: That means the world :love:
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome. :)
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
It feels like you are nothing because you are everything...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love that :heart:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
:giggle:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
That first stanza... its... I adore it... it's the perfect lines leading to all the rest... :tighthug:
Reply
:iconthepoetboy:
thepoetboy Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
a tear in
the lining of the sleeve you
keep fingering- like reminiscence
will repair loose strands


this is just beautiful and imaginative and such a perfect perfect few lines just

wow

this poem is beautiful and breathtaking and vivid and god beautiful beautiful beautiful your writing is so beautiful♥
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
One of my favorite songs has a line in it "I'm a tear in the clock as you walk away" which now as I'm thinking about it, has little to do with my poem; but it inspired me to think of those little (painful) things that make up a person. also ohmygosh just thank you so so much :heart:
Reply
:iconthepoetboy:
thepoetboy Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my gosh its no problem at all, doll♥

wow thats such a lovely line, i'll give the song a listen!
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
carve a careful
coffin of carnal desires


So vivid. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much, dear :heart:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
This is breathtaking. Beautifully written, I wish I could fave this like 45365475856 times. Just wonderful.
Fave lines:
"(I woke up this morning
in a new carcass, trapped,
by fleshed out flaws and
dismal dreams and the
hush hush thrum ,steady,
[pulsations are riddled with
intent] of my veins)"
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh you are so sweet! :tighthug: thank you so much, that means the world to me
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student General Artist
I like the alliteration and internal consonance: "carve/careful/coffin/carnal" "fleshed-out flaws" "dismal dreams" "skin/sinew/sincerity/stitched"

One nitpick: "undistinguishable" -> "indistinguishable".
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! I was typing it up in Word and it didn't show that was a grammatical error, thank you for telling me! :hug:
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student General Artist
You're welcome. :hug:
Reply
:iconsoulreaper83248:
SoulReaper83248 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student General Artist
very good use of imagery, it's quite vivid.
Reply
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