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months later and I'm still pulling pieces of you from my wounds;
memories are salt and you were the ocean that never dried out.
selfishness is the wear of the weary – I wonder, now, how much life
can you steal from a ghost?

my stomach still sinks, I've swallowed too many words. you were
the anchor that allowed me to drown. you were the siren that never
sounded sweet. when the noxious night comes I don't know who's in
the mirror (or what hollowed eyes mean.) am I the one or the nothing
that died out?

I tried so hard, I tried so hard to lose my shadow and forget myself
somewhere dark. I'm trapped between hell and a hard place,
trying to build heroes from ashes and saviors from sunken men.
I tried so hard, and I lost myself again.

what's that coming down? the ground is littered with pieces of me,
the most painful part is remembering;
it's time to let it all go.
What's that in your mouth, the curse or the key?

For *glossolalias' musical prompt game, my song: Girl and The Ghost
So many good lyrics in this song. So. Many.

(there's a lot of me in this one)
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:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
An incredible read with an affluent rhythm, but this line hit me like freight train:

'I wonder, now, how much life
can you steal from a ghost?'
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so happy to hear that, thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No worries :rose:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this would be incredible as a spoken word
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love: thank you!
Reply
:icontheantianti-drug:
TheAntiAnti-Drug Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Ooh, this is one of my favorite pieces so far.
The voice is very strong and the language is insightful and clear.
The last three lines hit me just right.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so happy to hear that! This piece was a little out of my comfort zone, I'm honored to hear it had an impact. Thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I wonder, now, how much life can you steal from a ghost?
great line.

I think you did a nice job of capturing the feeling of the song your words.

also, Carina Round is creator of one of my favorite songs, haha.
this one's pretty good.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :heart: I took my favorite ideas from the song and added in parts of me. c: I loved it, *glossolalias gave me a good one
(PS it's wonderful to see you back :huggle:)
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome :)
yes and you did good with it...or well, I suppose?
(it's nice to be back :hug:)
Reply
:iconcelestialmemories:
CelestialMemories Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So many quotable phrases and great moral lessons you put in this piece.

A beautiful deviation from a beautiful person. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, you're such a sweetheart :huggle: Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconcelestialmemories:
CelestialMemories Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:la:
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:iconexistencewesummonyou:
ExistenceWeSummonYou Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
"selfishness is the wear of the weary." Aye.

"memories are salt and you were the ocean that never dried out" reminds me of the Nietzsche quote "memory is a wound"... but I think I like your line better... memories don't create the pain, they just keep the pain alive.

Anyway. Good stuff! I like this poem.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! I'm honored to hear what you enjoyed :heart:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
This is wonderfully bitter. You amaze me so much..every time I read your work.

Favorite line:
" I'm trapped between hell and a hard place,
trying to build heroes from ashes and saviors from sunken men."

Thats the worst feeling.. having nowhere to go, and no one to take you there. It goes away though, eventually, or at least fades. I know..I stood there once.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for such a lovely comment :heart:

I'm glad to know you got out of that place, too :huggle:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Writer
:tighthug: The questions... they really somehow stand out in my mind.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That was the biggest part I pulled from the song. It had all these really interesting questions.
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Writer
Sounds like a good song =D
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're fantastic :heart:
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
As the keeper of your key, your comment belongs only to you.

Do not be afraid to forward your compliments to their rightful owner next time you see her in your mirror.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think I can do so if you do the same.
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
I lack your key and cannot.
You have your key and can.

All that remains is choice.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I will, then, but I'd feel much better knowing you told yourself positive things, too.
Of course, I can do so for you.

You're wonderful :hug:
Reply
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