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Writing by TwilightPoetess

writing by Hfeather53

Literature by SomethingOnceSacred

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Submitted on
October 24, 2012
File Size
1.1 KB


15 (who?)
along the road to change, you decide:
you lack a heart. your voice will
tear the world asunder. you
wreak havoc on the unassuming,
because you stopped trusting in
institutional stability the day
God poured over you.

He cleansed you in his tears, He said
He built you strong- it was
an obligation with weighted
requirements. He drove nails into
your flesh to test your faith,
you were pained and you were

you were a prize, a person to
swallow lechery and lead our world
into redemption; you would tempt us
from our questions why

everyone needs a Hero
(but who do you have?)


I cared about you, once, when
you were unbroken and not yet
perfect; when you still believed
the sun had a reason it rose.

but you never felt a thing because
when God drove into you, He whispered
away all human instincts

(no one should ever have to love
a shattered world)
A lot of thoughts coalesced in this piece.
I don't know where my brain is going anymore.
Add a Comment:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
wanna know why I adore you? Every time I come back and re-read one of your poems, I find something new, something that hadnt occurred to me before. This really is wonderful.
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
goodness, you are far too kind. thank you so much, I think I'm going to keep this comment in my message box for few months so I can look at it whenever I feel low :love:
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. I'm not even sure what to say that hasn't already been said.. I really love the mish-mash of concepts in this, leaves one a lot to think about
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If it left you thinking, then I am very very happy. Thank you so much for your comment, it really means a lot to me :heart:
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-YOU for sharing yourself (:
ZaquiaStorm Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012
For a moment, I thought this was a religions piece, and I wasn't sure what to think about that idea. But the more I read, the less it seemed so, and the more it seemed to be from the viewpoint of a friend, talking to someone who was once very logical and critically thinking, only to accept God into his life and change all of that, and no longer look for reason in things, no longer dislike the broken pieces in the world, but instead, loving what's ruined because God has said to do so.

It just...

Wow. :heart:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I really really love your interpretation of this piece. To be honest, I hadn't even thought of it as such; but the fact you can pull such a beautiful and inspiring message makes me happier than you know.
As always... thank you for your support. It really means the world to me, I am so lucky to have a friend like you :hug:
ZaquiaStorm Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012

0hgravity Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
hmmm I really like the character here - I think this "you" is presented very well. I saw them as someone once looked up to or respected and admired rather but then the dissatisfaction in the person caused them to change into a shadow of their former self. There seems to be a certain sadness or disappointment in the narrators voice. I don't know - that's the sense I got out of it.

an interesting piece and one I think will have different meaning for different people. perhaps a different meaning for each read, even!
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment. That was really my intention. Someone who tried too hard, and broke; and a longing in the narrator for the time before that.
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