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:iconintricately-ordinary: More from intricately-ordinary


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Literature by Copperfrost

Treasured Literature by LadyLincoln

ENGLISH LANGUAGE by lombregrise


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June 7, 2013
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iii
you were an untouched sunset,
never before seen and familiar
at the same time; delicately shedding
shades of pink the same color
of your starving voice

and I was most beautiful
with my clothes off, too much skin
intersected by too many lines (never
the near parallel you longed for)
a hazy blur that made the nights
our own watercolor cliche


ii
you were that cheap love song
that never sounded authentic,
lyrics stitched through your
paper skin; chords resonating
from your every wanting sigh

and you were surprised how much
you needed me, from the concrete solidity
of my ribs to the metaphoric indecency
of my thoughts, naked and trembling
for your callused ears (or maybe
it was just me, justifying the way
you skinned my anxious layers
with your ravenous hands,
like underfed beasts)


i
you were the child crying
at shadows pretending to be monsters,
running from the prospect of
god and death and gravity;

& you were the letter I never sent

"I'm done apologizing for
the person I wasn't before
I was me"
titles are really difficult lately
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfox-ninja97:
fox-ninja97 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Student Writer
The rhythm, how the words tangle with the emotion of it, is really fantastic.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013   General Artist
it seems you've found the perfect title, brilliant work as always, maddie darling :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :huggle:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013   General Artist
you're most welcome, dove! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you were the child crying
at shadows pretending to be monsters,
running from the prospect of
god and death and gravity;


Yes :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure :heart:
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
HRNGH

I MISSED YOUR WRITING
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I MISSED YOU GOOD THING YOU CAME BACK
Reply
:iconzombietoofer:
ZombieToofer Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing writing. Love the wordplay and the flow and the rhythm.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm honored to hear it, thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconnancie-x:
nancie-x Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Really beautiful. "Metaphoric indecency of my thoughts" - delicious!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Student Writer
STAHP BEING SO AWESOME
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
sorry! :noes:

PS I finally bought your new album :iconepiclaplz: SUPER excited, listening to it now :la:
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Student Writer
Dawhh, thank you! Make sure to share it with all your friends and tell them to buy it!
Reply
:iconsmallsincerities:
smallsincerities Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's beautiful.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:icontheantianti-drug:
TheAntiAnti-Drug Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
"from the concrete solidity
of my ribs to the metaphoric indecency
of my thoughts"


That rhythm. 0;
I felt like I was stepping up stairs.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i'm so glad to hear it :love:
Reply
:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013
youre doing it again :stare:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
sorry :noes:
Reply
:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013
:lol: youre fine.
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Student Writer
I'm just going to fangirl over here.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
sdjahdkjghak i love you :heart:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Student Writer
I love you too. :heart:
Reply
:iconsirlorcan:
SirLorcan Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013
I love this; excellent work. Everything about it is perfect.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm delighted to hear it, thank you!
Reply
:iconsirlorcan:
SirLorcan Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013
You're welcome:)
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Writer
I love that last, entire part i, and how it's counting down until the end that becomes the start of a new beginning.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :love:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome :love:
Reply
:iconsnowjoe72:
snowjoe72 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
The title can either be the easy part or the hard part. It is easy if you know exactly what you want to convey in the poem already, but just haven't decided the exact wording yet. It can be the hard part when you want to make a poem about a very simple idea you plan to let flow into detail on its own(as you write it, the ideqas just come to you one at a time). For the latter one, I suggest writing the poem first, THEN figuring out the title. but even that can be a bit troublesome if you are trying to decide between two or more central details to base it on. Because some more might appear and make it even harder. Basically, I struggle with titles sometimes too.

but this was wonderfully written. That last comment was right, it was the allure of the bold-sounding title that drew me in to discover the beauty of the work itself! :nod:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the advice, I'm glad to hear you liked the title c:
Reply
:iconsnowjoe72:
snowjoe72 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
You're welcome! :)
Reply
:iconassureastheskyisblue:
assureastheskyisblue Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
I actually really love the title :3 it's what made me want to read it in the first place and I'm really glad I did because it's beautiful
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you and gosh :love: you're too kind
Reply
:iconassureastheskyisblue:
assureastheskyisblue Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
you're very welcome :D :hug:
Reply
:icongreenleo94:
greenleo94 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful. :heart:

titles can be really tricky. Maybe a play on an old phrase? "It's not me; It's you?"
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:

haha, i quite like that. i think i'm going to let it sit for the night to see how i feel about this one still :)
Reply
:icongreenleo94:
greenleo94 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome. :)

Good idea.
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