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:iconintricately-ordinary: More from intricately-ordinary


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All The Poets Come To Life by flummo

Literature by SomethingOnceSacred


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September 28, 2012
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v
her shaky hands couldn't hold a pen
or a promise
"my fingers have broken
trying to rewrite clichés-
believe me when I say, I'm special"
hollow laughs glossed over her
tempered smile

as she waited for the day
when that might actually mean
something

i
there was an eve long before dawn
ever tainted the starry night sky and
inflicted vision on those who preferred
to stay in the dark, where a girl
crooned quietly to herself
"what if when we meet,
I've run out of I love you's?"

this was before the sun whispered in her ears
that they'd never mattered, anyway

iv
hopelessness descends
on wearied souls
who couldn't learn just how
to cross their fingers right
"maybe depression is a state of mind
for those who never knew
any other way"

she threw out all her mirrors
when they became too loud

ii
life is something you grow into
a conglomeration of
soul searching and
forgetting to breathe
where age is indicative of
all that you have lost
"children dream, but adults
deny wishing in anger-
they are hurt it always falls through"

dreams are something you grow
out of, with time

vi
she never made it anywhere
(you can't move
when you collapse)

"strength only belongs to those
who know how to believe in their own actions

it's hard to be forsaken
by yourself"

iii
confusion breeds resentment and sadness
anxiety, fear, despair,
and sometimes even writers
with a need to be heard
"one day, my every last word
will be a treasure,
worth holding onto forever"

and every struggle
would finally be worth it

because the end, she dreamed
would justify
the means
Fragmented story, fragmented girl.

I had this picture in my head of a glass ship in a bottle: easily shattered and untouchable.
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:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is what did it for me - what convinced me - what made me realize that you are... breath-taking. Is it really possible to express too-much good of a person? But, I digress! I cannot pick a favorite part as I've fallen a little bit in love with every word here - and again, it all resonates so much, it's hard not to cry. It is all so familiar. Desires, wishes, realizations and that ache of honesty.

It can be hard for writers to present words as art - really well and truly as art - where you can get the same impression that you would from looking at a painstakingly crafted and presented painting or sculpture as you can from words, if not more. I, again, have to recognize my own bias in just how closely I feel this... but then again, that's the point.
This really takes me back :heart:

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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm honored to know it was this piece, then, because it's something so close to me. I keep this in my "Me" folder because it's a piece that captures everything I feel, no matter how ugly or painful. I'm really touched that it resonates, and even that it made you almost cry. Thank you so much for all your kindness, and about how you consider it art. It really means the world :heart:
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:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is more artful than most things I've ever experienced in my life and as beautiful as my favorite celestial images (stars!) and music... the music in particular. Not the music that draws you in because of its more base appeal, a nice tune or anything like that, but the music that simply reaches right inside of your chest and resonates, the kind that makes you think and makes you feel.
As you can imagine, I am feeling pretty good about my decision to start with your "Me" folder first and, as I've suspected, it shows you to be a uniquely beautiful person - and its an honor to see this part of a person.
Oh no, not "almost", I've had the same reaction with a lot of what I've read of yours tonight. I had a really rough childhood and... I'll never forget it. I had many of the same realizations, the same beliefs - how the struggle and strife can be worth something, can make me greater and stronger, that I not only wanted to be someone better for it, but was. I wrote a lot, back then, much more than I do now and it was all about dealing with that life. I certainly haven't put it behind me, I chose instead to make it a part of me and I do love and appreciate being reminded of that part of me, and my life, as often as possible. There's something to be said for unending misery and loneliness when the person experiencing it decides to learn from it, rather than inflict it upon others. I am wandering, but yes... :heart: I've felt this as closely as I feel my own heart beat and I'm left in awe of you.

You're very much welcome Miss Intricate - and I swear, it's just the truth! :worship:
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
"she threw out all her mirrors
when they became too loud"


beautiful, that.

But my absolute favorite bit, because it was so very, very true, was this:

"life is something you grow into
a conglomeration of
soul searching and
forgetting to breathe
where age is indicative of
all that you have lost"
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much! :heart: I'm absolutely honored you think so.
Reply
:icondagoth-jeff:
dagoth-jeff Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Nice wording, I can't write like that. Amazing stuff.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:love: oh you are so kind! it's just my weird jumbled up thought process.
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:icongolden-leaves:
Golden-Leaves Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
"...believe me when I say, I'm special"
hollow laughs glossed over her
tempered smile

as she waited for the day
when that might actually mean
something..."

Brilliant.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I believe that sometimes people tell themselves they are special and different because they are waiting for it to feel true.

Thank you very very much :heart:
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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012
This is so sad! And such a twist on that statement in the end, "because the end, she dreamed would justify the means" and before it says every struggle would finally be worth it, the things we endure, that living was worth it. And the comment about the ship in the bottle, "shattered and untouchable" This was so very impacting. :heart:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's always been a bit of a sad phrase.
After devastation, and chaos, and terrible terrible things- if good comes from it, "the end justifies the means."
I'm so very happy it was able to have an impact, thank you very very much :heart:
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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012
You're very welcome! :huggle: :heart:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Student Writer
It feels almost like paradoxes, or just a fascinating way of viewing life :tighthug:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much, I think that's a lovely way to think of it! :huggle:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome, and I think so too ;p :huggle:
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:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very beautiful, in a melancholy sort of way. I very much enjoyed the read, and I'm more than thankful to have come across it.

she threw out all her mirrors
when they became too loud

must be my favorite lines.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, wow, thank you- I'm so happy you think so. I have this unnatural obsession with mirrors as a symbol in literature- they not only represent oneself, but also self reflection.

Again, thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Entirely my pleasure, of course!

That is a very lovely way of looking at mirrors, I think. Quite creative, if I do say so myself.
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:iconvertigoart:
VertigoArt Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Professional Writer
"what if when we meet,
I've run out of I love you's?"

Love it.

The whole piece is wonderful. I like the story out of order. I read it as is and then in order and both make sense. Excellent job dear.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You know, I used to worry that a lot. It's something silly but it's true in it's own way, that if you give your heart away enough, it might not mean anything anymore.

Thank you so very much! :heart:
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:iconkittysib:
KittySib Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
Beautiful!:D
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
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:iconkittysib:
KittySib Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
:D
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:iconnikikt:
nikikt Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"she threw out all her mirrors
when they became too loud"

"as she waited for the day
when that might actually mean
something"

"one day, my every last word
will be a treasure,
worth holding onto forever"

Wow. Just wow. You are truly an amazing writer. I really don't have any words. Your just brilliant.

I feel this is such a personal testament by the narrator, perhaps talking of themselves. And I also feel that this can be related to by all writers.

I wish I could say something eloquent, but . . . Your words will be treasured once your gone, by at least one. Myself. <3
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's odd. I often put a little bit of myself in everything I write, but I usually can't tell how much. (I have to imagine for this one it was a lot.)

I'm so happy you think so, thank you very much for your kind words :huggle:
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:iconop1ateddreems:
OP1atedDreems Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Student Writer
This is wonderful. I always love fragmented works. i like the broken parts, because there is more to cup in your hands. and it sticks in the bones and skin and makes you crush the pieces over and over until their salty grains. poignant bits in the cheeks. [ i read this three times over. and certain parts again. just for the taste]

gorgeous work. gorgeous. gorgeous. and stuck in the throat.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I don't write a lot of broken works like this, but I thought it worked for the person it talked about. Like a loosely stitched together (fraying) tapestry.

Thank you so much. :heart:
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:iconop1ateddreems:
OP1atedDreems Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Student Writer
no problem. you did a lovely job.
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:iconfeatherback:
featherback Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
ii
life is something you grow into
a conglomeration of
soul searching and
forgetting to breathe
where age is indicative of
all that you have lost
"children dream, but adults
deny wishing in anger-
they are hurt it always falls through"


I... honestly don't know what to say about this. The whole thing just... left this imprint in my head long after I read it (and I read this several times over, finding something new and deep during each one). The ii. stanza struck me; so beautiful, so true, a principle put into perfect words where it hasn't been put before. I love love love how you describe a ship in a glass bottle, gosh I can't say how much I adore it: "easily shattered and untouchable." And the way this poem is crafted, from fragments and out of order stanzas that might be well in order after all to make a complete and whole story, it steals my breath. I don't know why, but this one hit me, and has to be my all time favorite of yours yet. I'll say it again, you have a universe of talents in that head and you never fail to be inspiring. Please do keep on writing. :heart:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I guess people build glass ships to be beautiful and collect dust- I thought that's what she was like, too. I have never done a story out of order like this before. Really, I don't think it even necessarily had an order, but it had a sense of falling apart.
I really don't know what to say. Thank you, so so so much. You are one of my favorite writers in the entire world, and to have such a compliment from you means the world. Thank you :heart:
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:iconfeatherback:
featherback Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
And that's what makes it so wonderful! Sometimes stories can only be told when you unwind them, rather than build them up.
You are so very welcome! You deserve it. nun <3
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:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Student Writer
...how are you supposed to read this? I want to go in order (i, ii, iii...) but that makes no sense...then I go straight down and the words want to make sense but can't.... I'm so lost...:confused:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I wanted it to read as formatted, but I also put a loose progression of thoughts as numbered off. (deterioration.)
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:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Student Writer
Ah okay...I'll go back and reread it then!
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