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i drink to you, raising my glass and
choking down the things you left,
ignoring my gag reflex and waiting
on the buzzing in my head, white cotton
lullabies for the weak of heart.

it kills me that we are just a
collection of vignettes, that soon
i might see your blossom fingers
and bleeding sunset smile but
only as a memory gone static with neglect;

this summer, i became a rebel. a
martyr in a child’s game, a vagrant
with boxes of dead poetry to call
a home, and when i asked you to want me,

it’s only so you’d take the sanity and consciousness
with you when you left. i miss
the days when personality disorders
were not graceful.

do you even remember taking me to the moon?

you were so fucking tripped out on acid
and weed and love and other drugs
that you thought we were a portrait.
midnight blues and sober grays
breaking even for a story,

but every planet we landed on
was already dead.

and trust me, i know you wish life was
a one night stand, because you
can’t keep looking it in the eyes
when you roll out of bed in the morning
with a hangover and a little less time. i know
you dread it. i know you dread me

when you collapse onto me like
a pile of lovesick letters from
teenagers dreaming of leaving home,
like a pile of all the first stars
that appeared to our naked eyes throughout life
dragged down by the wishes they didn’t bring,

like an anchor labelled “never sink.”

god, i miss the emptiness of me before
you came in like the morning tide. before
i told you all my fears and you
asked me to wake up.

i would’ve loved you dry, and then some.
i would’ve been your most belligerent stargazer,
your most honest narcissist, i

could’ve rewritten you so well.
sorry this is so long
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:iconkillzonekrissy:
killzonekrissy Featured By Owner May 25, 2014
this is phenomenal and incredible. I have no words, just ..... wow. Holy ... wow.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This really speaks to me of how hard it can be to love someone you cannot fix.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that's exactly it <3
Reply
:iconbohdicollective:
bohdicollective Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013
jesus christ. this poem almost made me cry.  the last two stanzas and the last line, oh my god. this is a good summary of my failed summer love. could've rewritten you so well :heart: ugh. it's beautiful and flows incredibly. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
alksdfjlskaj thank you so much :heart: it always makes me feel better to know someone else has felt the same
Reply
:iconbohdicollective:
bohdicollective Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013
i keep coming back to this poem just because i understand it so much. ugh. silly boys. :XD: and you're always quite welcome :heart:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student Writer
everything from "when you collapse onto me like / a pile of lovesick letters" down to the last bit is fucking perfect.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahhh that means the world to me from you <3
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Student Writer
:heart::heart:
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think the length is perfect for all the heart-felt horrors that come pouring out :heart: It's so bizarre, sometimes, that for things that reek of so much of reality and the pains & disappointments that go with it, that they - your words - are so beautiful. Vivid and vibrant, it makes you feel, grimace and wish... wish you could be her's and have been better.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconmeltplz: You beautiful girl, never change your heart :heart:
Reply
:icontheemptychest:
TheEmptyChest Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013
Don't apologize, dear. This is stunning. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:icontheemptychest:
TheEmptyChest Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013
No problem. :hug:
Reply
:iconhaanyaan:
Haanyaan Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Student Writer
oh wow...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3
Reply
:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"this summer, i became a rebel. a
martyr in a child’s game, a vagrant
with boxes of dead poetry to call
a home, and when i asked you to want me,"

This resonates with me more than you could never imagine; I have a feeling the way you sense things can be pretty similar to mine sometimes, it's unreal.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i'm touched to know it resonated with you, especially with how deeply personal that stanza is <3 thank you
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
really strong emotions in this and some great lines. 

think it could use a trim and some focus to make it even more powerful of a piece
but that's up to you.

intriguing read either way.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i'd cut off a few stanzas before even this, but i'm still trying to look at what's unnecessary and what fits in well.

thank you so much <3
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
fair enough ^^
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Student Writer
"but every planet we landed on
was already dead."

:heart:

Just wonderful.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconintracranialcolors:
IntracranialColors Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013   General Artist
♡♥♡
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3 <3
Reply
:icontngapch:
tngapch Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Professional Writer
this summer, i became a rebel. a
martyr in a child’s game, a vagrant
with boxes of dead poetry to call
a home


Yes, I think this sums up my life perfectly at the moment. Chills. Lovely, lovely chills. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :love:
Reply
:iconhgfdsasdfgh:
hgfdsasdfgh Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Student General Artist
You use the best metaphors. :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: thank you so much
Reply
:iconhgfdsasdfgh:
hgfdsasdfgh Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Student General Artist
You're very welcome. :)
Reply
:iconvergilusphoenix:
vergilusphoenix Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconamazingplz:

This was... ecstatic, Intense and it ended so gracefully <3 This was so amazing!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my goodness, thank you so much!
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Student Writer
Long, but... so fascinating.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Student Writer
:love:
Reply
:iconnikikt:
nikikt Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
'Like an anchor labelled "never sink."'

'Could've rewritten you so well.'

Oh my god woman. I feel so stupid when I write these ridiculous, no-sense comments because there are no words for how much I *love* your work. This is spectacular. <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
nooo your comments are the sweetest things <3 thank you so much for your support
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Student General Artist
*slaps wrist* Don't apologize. :<
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahh i'm sorry :noes:
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Long poems are just fine, and don't you say otherwise. *waggles finger disapprovingly* ;P
Reply
:iconphantasm1:
Phantasm1 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think I like the fourth stanza best "it's only so you'd take the sanity and consciousness/with you when you left. i miss/the days when personality disorders/were not graceful" Especially the "i miss the days when personality disorders were not graceful" part.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! <3
Reply
:iconphantasm1:
Phantasm1 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :).
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"do you even remember taking me to the moon?

you were so fucking tripped out on acid
and weed and love and other drugs
that you thought we were a portrait.
midnight blues and sober grays
breaking even for a story,

but every planet we landed on
was already dead."

My favorite lines.

This is so beautiful. Really heartbreaking and strong. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconflaming-freebird:
Flaming-Freebird Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013
Gosh - this hurt to read because it reminds me so much of someone. Fantastic work :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i'm always honored to hear that, thank you <3
Reply
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