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take two.

a week past the end of the world,
and there’s something therapeutic
about not caring.  I must’ve

really messed up in another life. I
wake up shaking and forget to sleep
shaking and hold your hand, shaking,
remembering the moment I became

poison. I feel crazier than ever; cementhead’s
good and gone with his plastic wrists
and missing soul. the boy who entertains
his unfriendliest nightmares couldn’t
muster up enough innocence
to make it right. (today, he writes
a letter; dear Sophia, he tells me

it doesn’t get better. I’m
locked up for a crime I
didn’t commit. you did it,
Sophia. you built me

wrong.) but you know me,
I fell in love with a problem I
couldn’t fix, a boy blinded
who’s never seen the light.
He was a stormy violet but I
am cyan graying with age--

I spent most of my life dying,
and the rest of it wishing I
was someone else. they tell us

only god will see your ugly;
and the girl who swallowed
razorblades can’t cry, and
the serial killer before her time
can’t cry, and the boy who created
a father out of thin air doesn’t
even remember he exists;

about now, it seems like
I don’t either.
if this is at all triggering tell me and I will put up a filter

this is all pretty real though
I met a boy who smashed his head open with a cement wall,
a boy who feared a man named Wallrider and wrote to his god Sophia,
and a lot more. you know me,
I never sleep.
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:icontheimaginativeauthor:
Theimaginativeauthor Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014
nicely done, if you have time you can read my poetry as well it will mean a lot.
Reply
:iconscarsfrommypastlife:
ScarsFromMyPastLife Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love the line-breaks in this, they come where I'd least expect them. 

Sophia is a lovely name for a god. 

And apathy is therapy in its purest form. 
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Love this:

and there’s something therapeutic
about not caring.  I must’ve

really messed up in another life.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconcole-y:
Cole-y Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013
i really feel this. i've read it several times over the past couple of days, and it's stuck with me. i still can't think of what to say. it's both ethereal and caustic. there's this dream-like quality to it (which is sort of ironic, now that i think about it). 

lovely to the tenth power.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i really can't tell you how much that means to me because you inspire me so much <33 i'm feeling a little ethereal and caustic, lately. thank you, thank you :love:
Reply
:iconcheshlytheepic:
CheshlyTheEpic Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Hey, I'm curious to know if you have sleep anxiety? Not meaning this in any purposeful offense. 
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't believe so. It's nothing I have been diagnosed with, and up until about 7 weeks ago, I never had any problems with sleep.
Reply
:iconcheshlytheepic:
CheshlyTheEpic Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Ah. While that would be unfortunate, I think it gives you your sense of motivation. I'm a first time reader, but it's an easy observation. You're really talented. You connect with the audience as yourself, relating to memories and such. (?) 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha, well, I certainly have had some sleep issues. Right now I'm on a sleeping medication to help that. Thank you. I do try to use different memories and stories and people I know to make my writing more realistic. 
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:iconcheshlytheepic:
CheshlyTheEpic Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Student Digital Artist
It's scarce for an artist to bond with their work. Usually, they just want to please the people. But I get this vibe from you that says you don't really mind. You >like< when people enjoy your work as much as you do, but it doesn't define your craftsmanship. Eh.... I'm babbling. Sorry. 

You're welcome. Keep up the good work, dear. 
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know about you, but my dreams and daydreams are at times the best things in my life...and the worst.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i used to love sleeping and dreaming but lately it's all awful
Reply
:icondrunkenswallow:
drunkenswallow Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
very moving how can you dream without sleeping? ---a dream within a dream--- wake up and realize you are still sleeping
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i did that twice, it was the weirdest thing
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Student Writer
Just, just... oh, you astound me so :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

:love:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Student Writer
:)
Reply
:iconmeganashleysart:
MeganAshleysArt Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Phenomenal. 
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconmadugongmaria:
madugongmaria Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Professional General Artist
i really like your use of words. on their own they sound ordinary, but they are put together to form something... surreal? i guess that's the word. my imagination is making me think of dreamlike landscapes with a tinge of morbidity with your words. very good. :D
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so happy to hear I was able to create something surreal :heart: thank you
Reply
:icontux-boi:
Tux-boi Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013
This reminded me of me, I don't sleep much either when I do, whacky dreams.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I have weird dreams too oh my gosh
Reply
:icontux-boi:
Tux-boi Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
But did you know my muse talks to me in my dreams as an alter ego that takes over my life when I get scared in real life? I forget when I make plans that way! lol
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013
The paradox of sleep:
To meet the world's demons with madness
Or to bring back our own when we wake.

Sometimes (Some Times) *So-me Times*:
The answer is neither what should be
Nor from whom should be the one speaking.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
the world would be a better place if no one ever shut their eyes
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
I would agree, but I envision a giant pile of ladies and fellas who behave like infected characters from a bad hollywood zombie movie.
(Maybe this is still better.  It's a tough call.)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you have to choose the demon you know, or the one you don't. i think we might be better a little sleep-deprived, to be honest.
Reply
:iconintrasect:
IntraSect Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
Let the campaign begin!
(Sorry, heavy machine operators.)
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013
:heart:

I'm not sure I know of anyone else on dA (or really anywhere) who pours themselves headlong and so unfiltered into their poetry. It's breathtaking and brave.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
god, every time you give me a compliment my whole week is made. thank you so much :heart: poetry's really the only place I'm honest
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
I'm good at compliments. :B

I'm glad to have impacted your day/week in a positive way. I have a feeling you are being too hard on your(non-poetry)self.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
your right in that regard, which just makes me even more grateful
Reply
:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The lines weave into a rough-seamed gritty vision, I really enjoy this piece abrasiveness; it gets better after the second time you reread.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3 by the way, sorry about being gone this week! I'm going to respond to your note tomorrow
Reply
:iconthypoetsorcerer:
ThyPoetSorcerer Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
S'all good sweetie, whenever you can; I can be patient no matter how bad I miss you. And you're welcome, your poetry always blows me away <3
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is just such a portrait.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
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