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October 20, 2013
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take two.

a week past the end of the world,
and there’s something therapeutic
about not caring.  I must’ve

really messed up in another life. I
wake up shaking and forget to sleep
shaking and hold your hand, shaking,
remembering the moment I became

poison. I feel crazier than ever; cementhead’s
good and gone with his plastic wrists
and missing soul. the boy who entertains
his unfriendliest nightmares couldn’t
muster up enough innocence
to make it right. (today, he writes
a letter; dear Sophia, he tells me

it doesn’t get better. I’m
locked up for a crime I
didn’t commit. you did it,
Sophia. you built me

wrong.) but you know me,
I fell in love with a problem I
couldn’t fix, a boy blinded
who’s never seen the light.
He was a stormy violet but I
am cyan graying with age--

I spent most of my life dying,
and the rest of it wishing I
was someone else. they tell us

only god will see your ugly;
and the girl who swallowed
razorblades can’t cry, and
the serial killer before her time
can’t cry, and the boy who created
a father out of thin air doesn’t
even remember he exists;

about now, it seems like
I don’t either.
if this is at all triggering tell me and I will put up a filter

this is all pretty real though
I met a boy who smashed his head open with a cement wall,
a boy who feared a man named Wallrider and wrote to his god Sophia,
and a lot more. you know me,
I never sleep.
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:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Love this:

and there’s something therapeutic
about not caring.  I must’ve

really messed up in another life.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconcole-y:
Cole-y Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013
i really feel this. i've read it several times over the past couple of days, and it's stuck with me. i still can't think of what to say. it's both ethereal and caustic. there's this dream-like quality to it (which is sort of ironic, now that i think about it). 

lovely to the tenth power.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i really can't tell you how much that means to me because you inspire me so much <33 i'm feeling a little ethereal and caustic, lately. thank you, thank you :love:
Reply
:iconcheshlytheepic:
CheshlyTheEpic Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey, I'm curious to know if you have sleep anxiety? Not meaning this in any purposeful offense. 
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't believe so. It's nothing I have been diagnosed with, and up until about 7 weeks ago, I never had any problems with sleep.
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:iconcheshlytheepic:
CheshlyTheEpic Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ah. While that would be unfortunate, I think it gives you your sense of motivation. I'm a first time reader, but it's an easy observation. You're really talented. You connect with the audience as yourself, relating to memories and such. (?) 
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha, well, I certainly have had some sleep issues. Right now I'm on a sleeping medication to help that. Thank you. I do try to use different memories and stories and people I know to make my writing more realistic. 
Reply
:iconcheshlytheepic:
CheshlyTheEpic Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's scarce for an artist to bond with their work. Usually, they just want to please the people. But I get this vibe from you that says you don't really mind. You >like< when people enjoy your work as much as you do, but it doesn't define your craftsmanship. Eh.... I'm babbling. Sorry. 

You're welcome. Keep up the good work, dear. 
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know about you, but my dreams and daydreams are at times the best things in my life...and the worst.
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