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here, everyone’s pupils are dilated
and skin is stretched too tight
to expose the wind-swept spider webs
writhing beneath their porcelain composure

here, the shadows are afraid of us.

(and it is our desire
to finally come down to that place
of completion
where we
are
simple skeletons
with bleached
bones and
detached jaws)

at night, the rigid ghosts rock me to
sleep.  their cardboard  hearts and
inky eyes just begging to be seen

(it is only in the
darkness that I am
perceived to be more
than I am; holy
nightlight, exalted
star to guide them
all home

sleepily but
steadily blinking
out.)

the current carries my name,
I have spent too little
too long on rivers that
only flow south

I vomit up saltwater and
try to remember,
forget
fickle graves and fettered wings
(combination of too many scary stories and maddie ramblings.)

all suggestions/ interpretations are welcome.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkeppalinn:
Keppalinn Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh wow, this is so awesome! I wish I could do stuff like this. Haha.
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:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
feat here / ici : [link]
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my goshhhh thank you so so much :heart:
Reply
:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"I have spent too little
too long on rivers that
only flow south"

I don't know why, but these are my favorite lines of this. I suppose I'm just relating to them in some manner.

Anyway this is gorgeous. I love it. Uberly.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ah, I definitely know what that feels like :noes:

and thank you! gorgeous like you :la:
Reply
:iconrailey-rainbow:
Railey-Rainbow Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
I love this so intensely it hurts me. The imagery is wonderful and it's incredible how the structure is just flowing freely and so naturally.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my goodness, I am incredibly touched to hear that. Thank you for such a compliment <3
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I really like these images, Maddie.
Surreal, but in a very grab-able way.

Nicely done. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm honored to hear that :love: thank you!
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure. (:
Reply
:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Professional Writer
TAG! you've been tweeted by the Fortress ! /
COUCOU ! la forteresse vous a tweeté ! [link]

:iconnotreforteressebrule:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconlainloveplz: thank you so much!
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
(it is only in the
darkness that I am
perceived to be more
than I am; holy
nightlight, exalted
star to guide them
all home

sleepily but
steadily blinking
out.)


Jeeeeeeezus, Maddie. You're fabulous. :heart:

Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:blush: goodness, you're sweet
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
I'm rubber, you're glue. :heart:
Reply
:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
great imagery !
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are such a lovely writer.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love: thank you!
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I saw a lot of black and white. the people, ghosts, beings are an unnatural white, fluorescents in a cave. stumbling upon a skeleton with a mouth open wide screaming no sound. in a word, creepy.

the last two stanzas seem out of place...I would save them for another time but that's just me.

it is all intriguing, the imagery, certainly, and the elusive nature of the meaning. there is an interesting inversion here like looking at negatives, exploring contrast but I think it doesn't go quite far enough past exploration to present something tangible but, then again, I suppose ghosts are intangible.

I really liked

to expose the wind-swept spider webs
writhing beneath their porcelain composure

here, the shadows are afraid of us.


porcelain composure sounds nice off the tongue and the sound mimics the meaning effectively, I think
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm quite glad to hear that, because those are the images I wanted to depict :aww: I agree about the last two stanzas... I had wanted to bring them in to add a sort of tangible aspect to the poem, as you put it, but it looks like that didn't flow as well as I wanted. Thank you so much for the feedback!
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
^^ success.

ah, I see. they did add tangibility only not in regard to what was stated previously. maybe try sticking to the same imagery and theme of looking for/following a path?

welcome!
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013
This is wonderful. When I read it, I saw a soul slowly rotting, holding council with shadows and fiend friends in the darkest of hours.. because in those times, these ghosts do not criticize, merely listen. I agree with the above statement that it is powerful..in a way that reminds me what it is to be real.

"holy
nightlight, exalted
star to guide them
all home

sleepily but
steadily blinking
out.)"

the light in the darkness only shines so long. such a great reminder.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I really enjoy your interpretation. thank you so much for your kind comment!
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Student Writer
It's the tale of a person who's been through rough times and seen people too numb to live again... and they want to do nothing more than forget. Powerful.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
interesting. thank you <3
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student Writer
Welcome =)
Reply
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