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in a season of wavering will
and ripe regret, I was born
too old - into a fragile world
of butterfly feathers and
springtime secrets, tied tenderly
around hollow hallucinations and
carefully called a "dream"

they promise you things
when you are too young to
understand the monsters under
your bed are really fragments
of you, left to disintegrate
in the dark. they say: you
will touch the world, you will
know the stars by name, you
will be our deliverance from
all the things we were not

you will be strong.

but they don't know, no,
I am a yard sale:

I sold my heart to a boy
with lilting lies and eyes
that looked human

I lent my bones to an
unstable night

I whispered my wishes away
down empty wells, and only heard
the shallow echo of myself

I sent my lungs down the
river – gasping for forgiveness

and I gave my voice
to the ocean, in exchange
for a little sleep

when they finally see me, I say
with a sawdust screech, I am
not all these pieces of me--

I have to believe somewhere
behind the complex of a mirror
and fluorescent flutters,
there exists a version of myself,
untouched--
a glass skeleton, unscathed, and
living out its life for you.

(no one ever warned me that stories
were better told untrue.)
Once upon a time in a far off kingdom behind the words you'd never say...
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is absolutely breathtaking in its beauty and mastery. Gorgeous.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :love:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome. :)
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is gorgeous. :heart: Your imagery is stunning, as usual. I'd like some of your talent please. :grump:

they promise you things
when you are too young to
understand the monsters under
your bed are really fragments
of you


were my favourite :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ehehe, you can have it, I stole it from unsuspecting children :stare:

thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Unsuspecting children... :evillaugh:

You're welcome!
Reply
:iconcelestialmemories:
CelestialMemories Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Another great piece as always :heart:

You really brought everything together with the second to last stanza. It really made me just stop for a moment and think.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so honored :heart: Thank you, sweetheart.
Reply
:iconcelestialmemories:
CelestialMemories Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome


:iconepicstareplz:
Reply
:iconinkatmidnight:
InkatMidnight Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Writer
they promise you things
when you are too young to
understand the monsters under
your bed are really fragments
of you, left to disintegrate
in the dark. they say: you
will touch the world, you will
know the stars by name, you
will be our deliverance from
all the things we were not


this is exactly what i am trying to say in everything i write. it's what growing up looks like to me. (maybe i'm just crazy, i don't know)

your words cut me and touch me and pull at my heart. thank you.
:heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're not crazy at all, I see it in the exact same way as you do. I'm so honored my words were able to have an impact, thank you so very very much :tighthug:
Reply
:iconinkatmidnight:
InkatMidnight Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Student Writer
aww that's cute :tighthug:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is lovely. I'm really liking the imagery,
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :huggle:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure. (:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
lovely <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :heart:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
of course!
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
the ending is just... ohhh! :faint:


they promise you things,
when you are too young to
understand the monsters under
your bed are really fragments
of you, left to disintegrate
in the dark. they say; you
will touch the world, you will
know the stars by name, you
will be our deliverance from
all the things we were not


I agree with :iconglossolalias: about the comma, but this is my favorite part nonetheless:heart: (probably because it gave me that childhood memory of remembering a monster under my bed :blush: :heart:)

:) lovely work once again! :huggle:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love:

(I fixed the comma, haha) thank you so much! I'm so glad to hear that's your favorite part! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle: no problem- thanks for the lovely read! :hug:
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013
they promise you things,
when you are too young to
---
i think you should omit the comma; it throws off the cadence and isn't grammatically necessary.

they say; you
will touch the world, you will
know the stars by name, you
will be our deliverance from
all the things we were not
---
i would omit the semicolon and place a colon on the end of this stanza; strengthens the flow and the impact of the following statement.


otherwise, this is absolutely perfect. i love that you chose to not use periods in the middle; it suited a manic reading, a pent up frustration that is inherent to this piece. what's gorgeous about this is that it is so relatable: the expectations of others coupled with childhood delusions and dreams shattering is devastating.

:heart: thank you for sharing.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I fixed the punctuation problems. I'm glad it came off that way, both as relatable and something disguising frustration, thank you so very much :heart:
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013
my pleasure!
Reply
:iconfebruaryblue:
februaryblue Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
When I read this I felt a sense of tragedy - because everyone tells you that you could be the most important person in the universe, and we sell ourselves out to be important to just another person.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I adore the way you put that. It is exactly what I was trying to get across, that moment of distinction between what we were told and what we are.
Reply
:iconfebruaryblue:
februaryblue Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm really glad to hear that, and thank you!
Reply
:icongolden-leaves:
Golden-Leaves Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My goodness... how do you DO it?! And no, I am not flattering you - well, I am, actually, but not because it's something I think you want to hear. It's because you really and truly deserve it. You had me entranced by the first two lines: "In a season of wavering will and ripe regret..." You pay loving attention to simile, and the "ripe regret" and other metaphors/imagery in the following verse are almost too delicious to read. Your work is so beautiful and inspiring. Some of the things you say must be what it's like to... to read the rain like a book, say, or to hold conversation with an ancient tree.

Beautiful.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:faint: You are so absolutely wonderful. I'm quite happy to hear you were invested from the first two lines, I was quite worried they wouldn't have come off the right way. :love: That's such an unbelievably poetic and kind way to describe me! You are one of the sweetest people ever! Thank you so much :tighthug:
Reply
:icongolden-leaves:
Golden-Leaves Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*hugs and kisses all the smilies* (Cannot get enough of those lil guys!) You are very welcome, love.
Reply
:iconobsidianshepherd:
ObsidianShepherd Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013   Writer
This was a pleasure to read! Your use of alliteration in the beginning really made it flow nicely!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, I'm so happy to hear it was! :huggle:
Reply
:iconanawkwardblue:
AnAwkwardBlue Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
"I have to believe somewhere
behind the complex of a mirror
and fluorescent flutters,
there exists a version of myself,
untouched--"

I love that line, it just, I can't even describe it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so honored :heart: Thank you very much.
Reply
:iconrailey-rainbow:
Railey-Rainbow Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
I utterly love this.
When you write, do you just... sit down and write? Or do you have a general idea roaming in your head and work around it?
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much :heart:
It really depends. Every time I get into a habit with writing, it changes, haha. With this one I sat down and wrote and switched a few stanzas around, seeing where I wanted to go.
Reply
:iconsnowjoe72:
snowjoe72 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Is it better to be a happy child, or a cautious adult? The answer isn't as simple as you'd think at first.If you really think about it, wouldn't it be better to be prepared for life's let-downs early? If you see a problem coming, isn't it much easier to deal with even if there is nothing you can do to stop it? You won't be a child forever, so isn't it time to see life for what it really is even if it scares you? Children ARE impressionable. And the world IS cruel..... Easy to get used to if you start being paranoid early..... I did.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's a delicate mindset, the innocence a child has- unaffected by any worries or anxieties of the world. It's a shame we can't live in that bliss forever.
Reply
:iconsnowjoe72:
snowjoe72 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Yes, ignorance truly is bliss. I'm sure we all miss those days where life was all sunshine and rainbows....
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Oh wow. I just cried a little bit. This is amazing.

Favorite line (among many) :
"they promise you things,
when you are too young
to know the monsters under
your bed are really fragments
of you, left to disintegrate
in the dark."

this is so.. beautifully tragic. well done.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:blush: I can't believe it had such an impact.

Thank you so very much :tighthug:
Reply
:iconad-kins:
Ad-Kins Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Stop hacking off body parts to give to the elements!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
;n; they pay so well
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful. Sad. Ethereal. Haunting...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Goodness, thank you so much! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome. :hug:

I saw myself in so many of the lines...

they say; you
will touch the world, you will
know the stars by name, you
will be our deliverance from
all the things we were not


To me it made me think of the blessing of one's parents...their wishes for you as a child, but you're unable to comprehend the darkness that lies in the years ahead.

I whispered my wishes away
down empty wells, and only heard
the shallow echo of myself.


Utterly gorgeous, Maddie. It's almost tangible.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm very touched you were able to see yourself in some of the lines :heart: It always means that much more when it's a poem I personally feel close to, as well. Thank you again! :hug:
Reply
:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
really nice :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you
Reply
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