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the space between intention and
inaction has been redefined. they say
the first step to sadness is
to be happy. the second step

is learning loss. they tell us
depression is an abundance of emotions
but everyone here is a balloon
deflated with time, a sun
dimming as years eat away years
and everything changes but
nothing's really different at all.

we drowned before we even saw
the sea, dreaming of that cemetery
a million miles deep; and still,
I cry for the people worth forgetting:

the girl who couldn't take enough
sleeping pills to live her dreams,
the boy so doped out on an inability
to live that he told us about his trips
to Jupiter and back, and
expected us to believe him. the girl
with a ghost smile named after the prayer
she was born to forget, the boy
who slept like an angel and cried like
a fallen, and me, me

choking on gravity and the ever-growing
weight of my own fucking inadequacy
tied tightly around my neck like a noose
not quite designed properly, right,

because I survived. nothing's
as pretty when you look at it
head-on. self-hatred
is a standard, anxiety and depression
are building blocks, we are

constructors, putting together the pieces
of someone else's life. you could say
I'm cynical, but hope

is a well, and I cried out
every last drop. today,
we are taught again how to breathe.
(we're drowning, we're drowning, in the tears
saved up for the deaths
we never got to
mourn)
honest and unedited: me
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is absolutely beautiful. :heart: I hope you're in a better place than when you wrote this...but my god. This just speaks to me.
Reply
:iconimperfect-parachute:
imperfect-parachute Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2013  Student Writer
You are featured here: ashwazhere-skw-agc.deviantart.… :heart:
Reply
:iconimperfect-parachute:
imperfect-parachute Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013  Student Writer
This is incredible. Beautiful. Amazing. I really don't know what else to say.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconimperfect-parachute:
imperfect-parachute Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome =D
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
really nice flow in this.

 nothing's
as pretty when you look at it
head-on

--loved that

some powerful observations here.
like I've said before, you should really consider doing some spoken word.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i reaaaally want to. there's no one i admire more than spoken word artists. i don't think i'm to that caliber yet, though.
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I think you are.

but doesn't hurt to keep honing the skill.
Reply
:iconhollowsunsets:
HollowSunsets Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
this is wonderful. this is perfect. 
this is everything I'm feeling right now, except worded better than I could have ever done. 

you are the most amazing human being in the entire world and I honestly love you for sharing these beautiful pieces of you. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my gosh, you are far too kind. thank you for all your praise, it means the world to me :heart:
Reply
:iconguest013:
Guest013 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2013
gave me goosebumps, in a good way :) 

Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ya know, there is a line in every stanza of this that I had to stop and nod to. Very profound and boldly vulnerable - I can't even tell you how wonderful this is, Maddie. You're pretty incredible, dear.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you always manage to make me gush with your praise :love: thank you so, so much
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well it's just the truth, I promise. :)
Reply
:iconaieren:
aieren Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you <3
Reply
:iconaieren:
aieren Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are welcome :)
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I missed your poetry. I missed you.

This is perfect and beautiful. 

Always be honest, okay?
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha, I'll try my hardest. luckily, honest is fairly easy.
Reply
:iconblacksilhoutte:
BlackSilhoutte Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's very amazing and beautiful !
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is perfect, beautiful. You are perfect, beautiful.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahh :blush: that means the world to me, thank you
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle:
Reply
:iconunspecifiedunknown:
UnspecifiedUnknown Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013   Writer
my god. 

i pray to come even close to resembling the stellar of an artist you are,
sincerely. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
are you for reals
I read your work whenever I'm feeling lost or out of words, you are magnificent
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Student Writer
....this is fucking beautiful.....you have me ready to cry, hun...
the ever-growing
weight of my own fucking inadequacy
tied tightly around my neck like a noose
not quite designed properly, right,

because I survived


...you leave me speechless (and continually wanting more).....the unedited you is the best you, don't ever change, m'dear...:heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
aw I'm sorry I have you ready to cry, but thank you for your kindness <3
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Student Writer
ha it was a good cry, no need to apologize ;P...you are welcome <3
Reply
:iconiceangel1234:
IceAngel1234 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So flattering! Kudos for the great work!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you
Reply
:iconiceangel1234:
IceAngel1234 Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem
Reply
:iconpaintedxdark:
PaintedxDark Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow!! This is so good! Like, wow, so gorgeous! I love love love it!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm honored! thank you
Reply
:iconpaintedxdark:
PaintedxDark Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Of course!
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Student Writer
I think I have tears in my eyes because it feels like this poem is a bridge across a chasm people never even dared hope to cross.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3 thank you
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013   Writer
I love the imagery and the rawness of this poem. It is amazing. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love: thank you
Reply
:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013   Writer
you're very welcome!!
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013
weare
---
i think i found a little oops ;)


otherwise, this is a raw, emotional poem that struck a very personal chord with me. beautiful work.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ughhghghhgh typos

thank you so much <3 compliments from you always mean the world to me
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
we drowned before we even saw
the sea, dreaming of that cemetery
a million miles deep; and still
I cry for the people worth forgetting.


right to the heart.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you <3
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
always. (:
Reply
:iconthemoonofmyheart:
Themoonofmyheart Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Venting out things that one no longer needs helps him to make room for the new ones :rose: The strong emotions in your poems are an indication that you are still alive with the feelings even though walking through hollow chambers that do not make sense. Stay focused and you will reach your heart takes to if you listen to it. 
Qita
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the advice
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Student General Artist
You are not alone, dear. :heart: I know what you mean.
Reply
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