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September 21, 2013
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the space between intention and
inaction has been redefined. they say
the first step to sadness is
to be happy. the second step

is learning loss. they tell us
depression is an abundance of emotions
but everyone here is a balloon
deflated with time, a sun
dimming as years eat away years
and everything changes but
nothing's really different at all.

we drowned before we even saw
the sea, dreaming of that cemetery
a million miles deep; and still,
I cry for the people worth forgetting:

the girl who couldn't take enough
sleeping pills to live her dreams,
the boy so doped out on an inability
to live that he told us about his trips
to Jupiter and back, and
expected us to believe him. the girl
with a ghost smile named after the prayer
she was born to forget, the boy
who slept like an angel and cried like
a fallen, and me, me

choking on gravity and the ever-growing
weight of my own fucking inadequacy
tied tightly around my neck like a noose
not quite designed properly, right,

because I survived. nothing's
as pretty when you look at it
head-on. self-hatred
is a standard, anxiety and depression
are building blocks, we are

constructors, putting together the pieces
of someone else's life. you could say
I'm cynical, but hope

is a well, and I cried out
every last drop. today,
we are taught again how to breathe.
(we're drowning, we're drowning, in the tears
saved up for the deaths
we never got to
mourn)
honest and unedited: me
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is absolutely beautiful. :heart: I hope you're in a better place than when you wrote this...but my god. This just speaks to me.
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:iconimperfect-parachute:
imperfect-parachute Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2013  Student Writer
You are featured here: ashwazhere-skw-agc.deviantart.… :heart:
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:iconimperfect-parachute:
imperfect-parachute Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013  Student Writer
This is incredible. Beautiful. Amazing. I really don't know what else to say.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
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:iconimperfect-parachute:
imperfect-parachute Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome =D
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
really nice flow in this.

 nothing's
as pretty when you look at it
head-on

--loved that

some powerful observations here.
like I've said before, you should really consider doing some spoken word.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i reaaaally want to. there's no one i admire more than spoken word artists. i don't think i'm to that caliber yet, though.
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I think you are.

but doesn't hurt to keep honing the skill.
Reply
:iconhollowsunsets:
HollowSunsets Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
this is wonderful. this is perfect. 
this is everything I'm feeling right now, except worded better than I could have ever done. 

you are the most amazing human being in the entire world and I honestly love you for sharing these beautiful pieces of you. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my gosh, you are far too kind. thank you for all your praise, it means the world to me :heart:
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