Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
i. attraction
when my negativity finally
found something beautiful,
charged up like a bipolar
thunderstorm waiting to come
crashing down

(you were everything
i ever wanted and i
was entirely selfish) then

ii. simplicity
like the way our smiles blended
perfectly together and how we’d sway
to rhythms that never existed;

your eyes were a springtime day
decades before we were born and
happiness became an instinct
instead of a defense [until]

iii. commitment
like a jail sentence worn
around the neck. spine
contorted and screaming

bound too quickly by the uns
and nots and fear you never
quite kept at bay, we were
guilty of so much but
wrongly convicted because

iv. i was not meant for this
and every tear i shed was
another prick to your heart,
my darling voodoo doll, you didn’t
decipher the warnings, oh sweetie

v. natural disasters
predictable and uncompromising,
earthquakes rent your fragile
ecosystem and floods made it
even harder to breathe.

we were devastated and i
was the posterchild for
unavoidable tragedy

vi. departure
coffin silence, where the air
and everything it nurtured
dies,

where gravity never forgets
and where the almost-victims
realize even bleach doesn’t mask
the scent of resignation

vii. memorium
every time i shed my skin
or carve a new hole into a home
i feel your eyes, a springtime
breeze crawling up my spine
and i regret
the nakedness of my bones,
vacant and hollow
like you found left them
viii
dissect and repeat
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013
Oh. My. God. I relate so much it hurts.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i'm sorry and thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconstargirl2791:
stargirl2791 Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this is one of my favorites! beautifully done!!!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconrosescarlet:
RoseScarlet Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Student Writer
Oh my god, why is this so beautiful ;;
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
why are you so lovely ;u;
Reply
:iconrosescarlet:
RoseScarlet Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Student Writer
Back to you ;;
Reply
:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Your fantastic work has been featured in Friday Night Features.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
what an honor, thank you so much :love:
Reply
:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner May 18, 2013
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconappreciation4it:
Appreciation4it Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Really liked this piece. Made me uncomfortable. :) I think most of us can recognize ourselves, or someone close to us, in a lot of these words. Thanks for sharing. I shall check out some more of your work. :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so delighted to know you feel that way! Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconappreciation4it:
Appreciation4it Featured By Owner May 24, 2013
:)
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this would make a great spoken word piece.

has the right beat. has a good tug at the emotions. I think it is best understood aloud.
only my opinion though.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha, `FuzzyHoser said the same thing. (and I'm quite honored, I am infatuated with spoken word)

thank you so much
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:thumbsup: great minds.
Reply
:iconschneekrahe:
schneekrahe Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
asldfkjdasklf okay so when are you going to publish your poems in a book or something because i would buy it without hesitation
this is utterly devastating and beautiful and so so relatable. it's wonderful you're wonderful <3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
asdkjhasdgasjdsa ;u; why are you so lovely
i've genuinely considered publishing a book but i don't know how to go about it or anything ahhh so this will do for now while i collect all my words and thank you again lovely woman :heart:
Reply
:iconschneekrahe:
schneekrahe Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wheee! well, should you ever find out how to publish, i will be first in line for one of your books :3 you are very very welcome and you are the loveliest <3
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This should be read aloud, Ms. Maddie. It's got that power to it that needs to be heard. Wonderful work, love.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
hehe I've been reading it out loud to myself since I wrote it. thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well then, you must do a recording soon, it seems. ;)

(I've gotten especially bossy lately, by the by. You're warned.)

:heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
bossy you is lovely as ever :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are fantastic for my ego. ;P
Reply
:iconavolatilecalm:
AVolatileCalm Featured By Owner May 14, 2013
this is amazing. your vocabulary and rhythm are perfection.
it hurts to read.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so honored to hear that especially because it hurt to write, too :heart:
Reply
:iconavolatilecalm:
AVolatileCalm Featured By Owner May 15, 2013
usually the best pieces, or most important things, do :heart:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Student Writer
It does seem like every circle has no beginning nor end, yet every circle drawn does. It has to.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
it seems as though life enjoys breaking the rules it doesn't like
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Student Writer
Yup.
Reply
:iconnothingspecial62:
NothingSpecial62 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013   General Artist
this is beautiful. TT v TT as always, your imagery hits home with me, and your use of words is well put together. i especially love the flow in this one. please keep writing! :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much, I will certainly try!
Reply
:iconnothingspecial62:
NothingSpecial62 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013   General Artist
you're welcome! ;w; i'm glad to hear it! :hug:
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, that was amazing.... I'm in shock...:heart:!!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:icongolden-leaves:
Golden-Leaves Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Almost like finding a beautiful, yet disturbing entry in a thesaurus or dictionary, and wondering silently where it came from...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :love:
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hit me right there.

This is fucking gorgeous.

Accept my love. :heart: :rose: :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
of course I will accept your love :iconloveloveplz:
Reply
:iconbluezbreakr:
Bluezbreakr Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
"i feel your eyes, a springtime
breeze crawling up my spine
and i regret"

I keep reading that over and over and over and over and over and over and...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I hope that's good
Reply
:iconbluezbreakr:
Bluezbreakr Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
it's good.
you're good.
i'm jealous.
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconintricately-ordinary: More from intricately-ordinary


Featured in Collections

Literature by Copperfrost

Treasured Literature by LadyLincoln

writing by Hfeather53


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
May 12, 2013
File Size
1.9 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
871
Favourites
52 (who?)
Comments
42
×