regret in seven stages

i. attraction
when my negativity finally
found something beautiful,
charged up like a bipolar
thunderstorm waiting to come
crashing down

(you were everything
i ever wanted and i
was entirely selfish) then

ii. simplicity
like the way our smiles blended
perfectly together and how we’d sway
to rhythms that never existed;

your eyes were a springtime day
decades before we were born and
happiness became an instinct
instead of a defense [until]

iii. commitment
like a jail sentence worn
around the neck. spine
contorted and screaming

bound too quickly by the uns
and nots and fear you never
quite kept at bay, we were
guilty of so much but
wrongly convicted because

iv. i was not meant for this
and every tear i shed was
another prick to your heart,
my darling voodoo doll, you didn’t
decipher the warnings, oh sweetie

v. natural disasters
predictable and uncompromising,
earthquakes rent your fragile
ecosystem and floods made it
even harder to breathe.

we were devastated and i
was the posterchild for
unavoidable tragedy

vi. departure
coffin silence, where the air
and everything it nurtured
dies,

where gravity never forgets
and where the almost-victims
realize even bleach doesn’t mask
the scent of resignation

vii. memorium
every time i shed my skin
or carve a new hole into a home
i feel your eyes, a springtime
breeze crawling up my spine
and i regret
the nakedness of my bones,
vacant and hollow
like you found left them