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Submitted on
November 1, 2013
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i
does she know the astrological significance
of the bruises starring along
your wrists? if I could, I’d

run away somewhere where
the sky is silent and the people
hate honest eyes. here’s my problem,

I’ve wasted all my time daydreaming
in the universe of your scars. I wonder
if substantiality is lethal.

ii
[when will you move on
like you know what
you’re doing with your life,
like this tiny existential
failure is only a hazard sign
on the roadmap of your journey,
like the world weighing down
upon your shoulders is an
exercise in vanity and quietude
instead of someone
else’s burden?]

iii
lists of necessities: methods of
starvation, hours to fall asleep by, sharp
objects, words that mean nothing.

I’m sorry this isn’t better. I’m sorry
I’m not better and I’m sorry
nothing is bright anymore.

things you remind me of:
the november sky
right before it rains.

I have nothing good in me to put on paper
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:iconparanoidroach:
ParanoidROACH Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
You have such amazing skills! I have actually been creeping around your gallery for a while, but I haven't really dared commenting before now. I want you to know that you are my favourite poet (by far), and I love the way you provoke so many feelings and thoughts. Your style is really good, and I just love how the lines are cut up. Your language is stunning! The way you get your points across with so few words never ceases to amaze me. Your free verses are seriously the first thing I show my friends on the rare occasion of that they ask about good poetry.

I just want to let you know that I really enjoy your works. I hope you overcome any hardships you may encounter, and I am really looking forward to reading your next piece!
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'M SORRY tHIS RESPONSE IS SO LATE THANK YOU SO MUCH

i can't tell you how much all this means, really
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
"Nothing lasts forever, not even cold November rain."

This is intense dear friend.
"I’d
run away somewhere where
the sky is silent and the people
hate honest eyes."

beautifully worded, it makes me sad in knowing ways.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconkiko-d:
Kiko-D Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Student General Artist
If you are left with at  the end of the day with nothing but an aching soul and a broken word then just throw them on a page and go- because even with nothing "good" left in you there is still beauty that astounds me every time I read your work. You are indeed a wonderful artist.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that's what I keep trying to do :heart: thank you!
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:iconzoefletcher:
zoefletcher Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Someone once told me "to write beautifully you must first be fascinating - the best are fascinatingly ordinary" and I think this sums you up perfectly. It's like you could be anyone; someone you bump into on the way to class, someone you see on the street, the person who sells you your bread and milk... but you are much more than an 'anyone'. You write the most beautiful poetry I have ever ever ever read (and I have read a lottttt). The sort of poetry that makes me want to break down and cry, but simultaneously allow my heart to burst with love and happiness and all sorts of emotions that don't quite have titles but you make me feel. And yet it's all so familiar somehow? I don't know how you do it. I truly don't. I don't even dare hope to ever be as good a writer as you (though secretly I think I still dream of it oops) Heart 

I and (judging by the comments) so many others, though we don't know you, can see through your writing that you have the most astounding soul. The soul that makes me dearly want to meet you and hug the sad out of you. Ugh I just, I can't. I think I've fainted. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I swear to god your comments make my heart burst in the good way, thank you so much. I swear, I'm really not that good, I just talk about myself too often in poetry. Thank you so so so so so much, seriously, you remind me why I keep writing even when I feel like I should give up :heart:
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:iconzoefletcher:
zoefletcher Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Anytime, truly! I wouldn't expect these comments to die out anytime soon, as all of your poems just tear me up. I love you, and even though you think your writing at the moment isn't the best, I can assure that in my opinion, it is absolutely amazing and I adore every piece. Please keep writing, for my own selfish reasons if no other Wink/Razz  I wish you all the best and have a great day xx
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:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well executed ... truly
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