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i
does she know the astrological significance
of the bruises starring along
your wrists? if I could, I’d

run away somewhere where
the sky is silent and the people
hate honest eyes. here’s my problem,

I’ve wasted all my time daydreaming
in the universe of your scars. I wonder
if substantiality is lethal.

ii
[when will you move on
like you know what
you’re doing with your life,
like this tiny existential
failure is only a hazard sign
on the roadmap of your journey,
like the world weighing down
upon your shoulders is an
exercise in vanity and quietude
instead of someone
else’s burden?]

iii
lists of necessities: methods of
starvation, hours to fall asleep by, sharp
objects, words that mean nothing.

I’m sorry this isn’t better. I’m sorry
I’m not better and I’m sorry
nothing is bright anymore.

things you remind me of:
the november sky
right before it rains.

I have nothing good in me to put on paper
Add a Comment:
 
:iconparanoidroach:
ParanoidROACH Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
You have such amazing skills! I have actually been creeping around your gallery for a while, but I haven't really dared commenting before now. I want you to know that you are my favourite poet (by far), and I love the way you provoke so many feelings and thoughts. Your style is really good, and I just love how the lines are cut up. Your language is stunning! The way you get your points across with so few words never ceases to amaze me. Your free verses are seriously the first thing I show my friends on the rare occasion of that they ask about good poetry.

I just want to let you know that I really enjoy your works. I hope you overcome any hardships you may encounter, and I am really looking forward to reading your next piece!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'M SORRY tHIS RESPONSE IS SO LATE THANK YOU SO MUCH

i can't tell you how much all this means, really
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
"Nothing lasts forever, not even cold November rain."

This is intense dear friend.
"I’d
run away somewhere where
the sky is silent and the people
hate honest eyes."

beautifully worded, it makes me sad in knowing ways.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconkiko-d:
Kiko-D Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Student Digital Artist
If you are left with at  the end of the day with nothing but an aching soul and a broken word then just throw them on a page and go- because even with nothing "good" left in you there is still beauty that astounds me every time I read your work. You are indeed a wonderful artist.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that's what I keep trying to do :heart: thank you!
Reply
:iconzoefletcher:
zoefletcher Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Someone once told me "to write beautifully you must first be fascinating - the best are fascinatingly ordinary" and I think this sums you up perfectly. It's like you could be anyone; someone you bump into on the way to class, someone you see on the street, the person who sells you your bread and milk... but you are much more than an 'anyone'. You write the most beautiful poetry I have ever ever ever read (and I have read a lottttt). The sort of poetry that makes me want to break down and cry, but simultaneously allow my heart to burst with love and happiness and all sorts of emotions that don't quite have titles but you make me feel. And yet it's all so familiar somehow? I don't know how you do it. I truly don't. I don't even dare hope to ever be as good a writer as you (though secretly I think I still dream of it oops) Heart 

I and (judging by the comments) so many others, though we don't know you, can see through your writing that you have the most astounding soul. The soul that makes me dearly want to meet you and hug the sad out of you. Ugh I just, I can't. I think I've fainted. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I swear to god your comments make my heart burst in the good way, thank you so much. I swear, I'm really not that good, I just talk about myself too often in poetry. Thank you so so so so so much, seriously, you remind me why I keep writing even when I feel like I should give up :heart:
Reply
:iconzoefletcher:
zoefletcher Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Anytime, truly! I wouldn't expect these comments to die out anytime soon, as all of your poems just tear me up. I love you, and even though you think your writing at the moment isn't the best, I can assure that in my opinion, it is absolutely amazing and I adore every piece. Please keep writing, for my own selfish reasons if no other Wink/Razz  I wish you all the best and have a great day xx
Reply
:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well executed ... truly
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome
Reply
:iconadrianminotaur:
AdrianMinotaur Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're honesty and fluidity of words and phrases, just have me lost as to where the poem begins and I end; it's just so Beautiful I got lost in the art...boy does that rhyme with heart, and you have a magnificent one! To a woman who writes so beautifully let me just say, you've got such an abundance of magnificent light in your soul that it must have blinded you to all the great things about yourself! :D
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that's just one of the sweetest things I've ever read <3 thank you so much for all your loveliness
Reply
:iconadrianminotaur:
AdrianMinotaur Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! :) You most certainly deserve the praise!
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013
I find myself having to resist the urge to favorite every single thing you write. My fear is that it will stop meaning anything when I do click on that button, that it will become reflexive, and that in so doing I will lose. Lose the rush of emotion and beauty that is every word of your writing, lose the experience of witnessing the naked and breathtaking way that you express yourself in each and every piece that you share.

Maddie, there is so much good in you and everyone can see it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't remember the last time I wanted to cry for something good. You give me faith in myself, which isn't something I've had for a very long time. I wish there were more ways to say thank you, Nathan. Wow. Just, wow :heart: 
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
Strive to keep that faith. That's the only thanks I could ask for.

Also keep writing wonderful things so that I can fawn over them. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'll certainly try <333 thank you so much
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Student Writer
If only you could know how much your words make me just feel...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: thank you
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Student Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconmelodysnow:
melodysnow Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013
I think the second section is my favorite - it's really very honest; almost a harsh truth. Something I hate to hear, but probably need to hear more often than I'd care to. And because I love the second part so much, I want you to know that I think this piece would be much stronger if you made the last section more succinct. Maybe:

"methods of starvation and falling
asleep, sharp objects, words
that mean nothing. I’m sorry

this isn’t better.
I’m sorry I’m not better.
you remind me of the november sky

right before it rains."

Not that this is better or perfect - it's just a suggestion. However, I do like this structure more because the two stanzas that have three lines mirror the first section. Anyway, you are a beautiful writer, as always. :hugs:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much for your feedback and your suggestions. I agree, and I like what you said about it mirroring the first section, so I changed it including a little bit of what you had and a little bit what I thought would help. Thank you again!
Reply
:iconmelodysnow:
melodysnow Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
I do like that mirroring effect and I think it's a much stronger piece than before.

One tiny thing: novemeber should be *november

I know how depression is.. it's taken all my words away from me again. I'm glad you still have yours, so just keep on writing even if you hate everything that comes out. :tighthug:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oops that's embarassing

and yes, it's absolutely wretched. thank you for the advice.
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
didn't you just tell me to not be sorry?

so you can't be sorry yourself.

it's not our fault.

hugs.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
it's harder than it looks
:tighthug:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
perfection :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you <3
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
of course  (:
Reply
:iconchadwood:
chadwood Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013   Writer
Beautiful work :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! <3
Reply
:iconchadwood:
chadwood Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013   Writer
:P My pleasure.
Reply
:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013
"I've wasted all my time daydreaming
in the universe of your scars. I wonder
if substantiality is lethal." 

:hug:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013
:heart::la:
Reply
:iconicykitsunestorm:
IcyKitsuneStorm Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
wow! :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconicykitsunestorm:
IcyKitsuneStorm Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :)
Reply
:icongliitchlord:
gliitchlord Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013
eschartology
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
basically
Reply
:icongliitchlord:
gliitchlord Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013
i mean that in a good way. the study of eschars. i like this one a lot.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
hadn't thought of it like that. thank you <3
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Student General Artist
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
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November 1, 2013
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