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she cannot recall all
the things she's
swallowed:
pretty pills, rancid
razor blades and
wasted words coat
her sorry throat

she can't count her
fingers, like she can't
count the days again--
it's zero to zero, in it
to spin it:
time is measured in
lengths of abandonment.

she comes home empty-
handed; defeated,
depleted, repeated:
"I gave up again
I gave up I gave it
away I gave up"
repeated like some
makeshift lullaby

and once more she
apologizes to a
broken window,
shattered, scattered,
just hoping to
know somewhere
better to go

and when she walks,
she holds hands
with the yellowed
skeleton of a
forgotten little girl--
on their tour of
the world. she
stops at the
edge and whispers
'there is a point of
no return' with
a guiding hand;
she sends her off
and realizes she's
only killed
herself
She cradles her puppet heart.
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:iconpastmisfortunes:
PastMisfortunes Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That last stanza. My Lord, I love that part.

and when she walks,
she holds hands
with the yellowed
skeleton of a
forgotten little girl--


Read that and give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are so kind :blush: thank you
Reply
:iconzaquiastorm:
ZaquiaStorm Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Right in the feels.

I might cry now. Seriously, I'm not even being facetious. :wow:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
don't cry :noes: :huggle:
Reply
:iconzaquiastorm:
ZaquiaStorm Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
B'aww! I'm okay now, your words are just so amazing. :heart::tighthug:
Reply
:iconfeatherback:
featherback Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
time is measured in
lengths of abandonment.


How are you this incredible?
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I learn from youuuu :la:
Reply
:iconfeatherback:
featherback Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Naww you gots all the natural talent! :la:
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
So many powerful lines in this piece, but I'd say these are my favourite:
time is measured in
lengths of abandonment.


:heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
We all tend to measure spans of time with things we understand, things we are familiar with. Happiness seems like a mere punctuation mark, at times - clarifying and transitory, something that only comes between the mess of everything else.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
How very true and sad. It's much easier to measure time by the consistencies than the abnormalities, I suppose.
Reply
:icondogmatickerr:
DogmaticKerr Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It is also remarkably normal, startlingly common but so much more private. As devastating as it can be, I wouldn't trade a moment of my miseries for a lifetime of something more safe, something more idyllic. Perhaps I am just sick that way - but I would suspect that many others are just as... scarred :heart:
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
Beautiful and sad, you did a brilliant job. ^^
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
You're so very welcome! :huggle:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this is incredibly sad,
but still lovely.
lovely, but sad.

"time is measured in
lengths of abandonment."
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
of course, darling. <3 you're lovely
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Student Writer
Self-destruction... the brutal reality that sometimes, only you can save yourself...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
she comes home empty-
handed; defeated,
depleted, repeated:
"I gave up again
I gave up I gave it
away I gave up"
repeated like some
makeshift lullaby


I love the frantic feel of that. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
Im speechless. This.. wow. I cant begin to tell you on how many levels this is amazing. It reaches into my chest, grips my heart, and refuses to let go.

"pretty pills, rancid
razor blades and
wasted words coat
her sorry throat"

"it's zero to zero, in it
to spin it:
time is measured in
lengths of abandonment."

You my friend are a poet like I could only hope to be one day.

( one little thing. in the fourth stanza I think you have a typo.. should be "once" not "one")

If you published a book, I would buy it, rip out the pages, and tape them to my walls. ( not cuz I'm a creeper, but because I want to be able to read them all the time)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh wow :heart: you are far too kind. I'm so honored to hear that ;u; I did fix the title. I don't think I'll ever be published, but your sentiments are so sweet :love:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
interesting rhythm and formatting.

this:
she can't count her
fingers, like she can't
count the days again


and the final stanza were the stand-outs for me.

I liked the title as well - pretty eerie.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so glad to hear that (: thank you! :heart:
Reply
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