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baby boy grew up and
the thorns left his crown;
his sides cry red,

it scares me to hear the
same stories in his sighs.

he is the kind of poetic violent whose
words are like calculated anvils; he
dissipates between my bones and

my heart will burst, I swear it. I am
afraid of balloons and the imminent
explosion of my delicate monstrosity
rising through my throat and suffocating--
but it’s really beautiful

when he turns over and rubs the galaxies
congested within his eyes. I believe in
shooting stars and intoxicated nights and the
prickled promises intertwined between our
fingers, as I miscalculate how fragile I really am

it’s beautiful. the sun sets red
and the aftertaste of bile is of
the loveliest reminiscence,

“these things are never
yours” he croons so
sweet.
not going to specify who is who

(romantic love poetry is hard, okay)
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:iconlacewinged-beauty:
Lacewinged-Beauty Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013   Writer
It's really beautiful.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're precious :huggle:
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:iconlacewinged-beauty:
Lacewinged-Beauty Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013   Writer
:heart:
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:iconv-espertine:
v-espertine Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
very sweet. <3
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you <3
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*flails* are you really afraid of balloons? ;< i am
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ohmygoodness yes, absolutely terrified
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
OMG I'M NOT ALONE IN MY FEAR ANYMORE :squee:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Student Writer
It feels like loving the wrong person and being unable to not love them... I would say it's from the point of view of the leper, and 'he' is the lamb, because... Just because a lamb looks innocent, doesn't mean it's pure, and the fragility of life, of being unable to 'have' because what you do 'have' prevents true attainment...
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
your interpretations are lovely to read :heart:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Student Writer
And your poetry is lovely to read :love:
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Lovely :heart:

The repetition of "it's beautiful" is a really nice touch. It adds more of a genuine touch to it. Really nice work, dear.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so glad to hear that! I changed it from third to first person in drafting for that reason, too. Thank you very much :heart:
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ahhh....very cool, and good move. (:
You're very welcome, love. :heart:
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:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
...my God. I wish I could construct a coherent, potent comment that would show how much I love this...but I can't. It's just that fantastic. You truly have a gift; be proud of it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:faint: you're too sweet to be real. Wow. Thank you so much, you made my day :love:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
wow, this one is really something beautiful.

it starts, for me, at the third stanza..that's where all the surprises come in where I'm like, "yeah can't get much better than that" then he turns over and rubs galaxies congested within his eyes shows up to prove me wrong and sets off another premature declaration.

"romantic love poetry is hard" well romance is complex despite how simple we imagine, or rather, wish it to be.
seems like this came easy though. it has intrigue that most typical romantic poems lack.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
sdfghjkjhgfdsa this comment makes me so happy :iconlainloveplz:

thank you so much. your feedback means the world to me.
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconhurrplz:

welcome! aw, I'm very glad for that.
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:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
beautifully written. I especially like the third stanza. Wonderful imagery :heart:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: that's an honor, thank you
Reply
:icongreenleo94:
greenleo94 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love the dichotomy you create with your word choice and the subject. It's really shocking to read, and always leaves me feeling off-kilter yet wanting more. Brilliant. :heart:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love: that's so wonderful to hear; I was really hoping it might come out that way. Thank you so much!
Reply
:icongreenleo94:
greenleo94 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome. :)
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
Im running out of nice things to say about your poems, and that just isnt fair, because this is.. (beautiful, wonderful, awesome, lovely, hot damn, superb, scrum-diddly-umptious)... genuine and I keep reading it again and again. Your romantic poetry is so uniquely maddie-esque.. but it works so wonderfully with how you write.

"he is the kind of poetic violent whose
words are like calculated anvils;"

...I dream of being this good with words.

"I am
afraid of balloons and the imminent
explosion of my delicate monstrosity
rising through my throat and suffocating--
but it’s really beautiful"

I have no words for how amazing this is. Best stanza i've read this year.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I actually worried a lot in uploading this, that it would only mean something in my own head. I still don't know if I can really call this romance, haha, but I do always get the sense these sorts of pieces are really different than all my other work in some (messed up) sentimental way.

And that's such an honor, I know you read really amazing poetry :heart: thank you so much for all your kindness :love:
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