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to him;
you are afraid of phonecalls. you
are afraid of your own voice, and
opening your ribcage to let
your heart come live on your sleeve.
you are afraid of living without caffeine
or alcohol, whatever the day calls for;
you are afraid of being real

without laughing afterwards, becoming
everything you worked so hard to get
away from, acknowledging all
that you still are. know this:

I am afraid of loud noises.
I am afraid of honesty and drowning,
people I don’t know and words
I won’t say. I am afraid
of growing old and living alone and
you not accepting me. I am afraid

of myself. In that, we are the same.

to her;
I have the compulsion to grab you
and cup you to me like you are some
half-alive bird, like that sound
as the lazy sun paints you a portrait is
your hummingbird heart and not my own
shallow breaths. in the beginning,

you were my peace of mind. you traced
the contours of my being with a scalpel
and held me up, a shadow puppet,
as the darkest, blackest figures I gave off
became my identity. when you left,

the cuts remained. when you came back
with an I miss you card and a girlfriend,
the cuts remained. when you cried on the phone
as I told you every gory detail, I remembered
the day I let myself fall apart
in front of you and you forgot.

now, I haven’t seen you in half a week
and days are measured in thoughts I must
avoid. now, the cuts remain, but I still hear
the ghost of your hummingbird heart
in the shadows they left.
hey hey

pay attention to me
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsylviaveir:
SylviaVeir Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is nothing short of amazing!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not a him, but I could have sworn you were writing about me. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think a lot of people might fear the same things :heart:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart: Quite likely!
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
touches face
yes i shall pay attention to you and your damn fine words
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle: yay
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Student Writer
Honestly, you're just beautiful. It's because of everything and nothing at all.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug: thank you
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Student Writer
My pleasure :)
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Good, God. My, dear, it's been a while XD; Hope you haven't yet forgotten me, if so, though, that's fine. Each and every time I see your work in my inbox, my day brightens a little bit. Always such a treat, and this piece is no different! You've got quite a skill for writing such lovely, yet raw and real poems. 

Your imagery is wonderful, as usual, and I can't even hope to pick a favorite segment or stanza, although, I am very fond of: 

you are afraid of being real

without laughing afterwards, becoming
everything you worked so hard to get
away from, acknowledging all
that you still are.
 

That little bit really hit home and sucked me deeper into the piece. 

Excellent work as usual, my dear! 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I could never forget you! You inspire me with every one of your poems :heart: thank you so much
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ah-hah XD How kind of you to say. I'm honored. 

My pleasure entirely, my dear! You are very welcome. 
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Student General Artist
:cling:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconspotted-fawn:
spotted-fawn Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
oh i really love this. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconsomethingsophie:
somethingsophie Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013   Writer
you were my peace of mind. you traced
the contours of my being with a scalpel
and held me up, a shadow puppet, 

Your diction and syntax is divine.  <3  The avian imagery in the 'to her' part is especially wonderful.  
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart: it always makes my day when you compliment me :love:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is just magnificent. I adore you and your writing. I wish I could kidnap you and make you write only for me. Mwahaha.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ahaha I love that evil plan, please do
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:salute:
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Powerful, raw, honest. As always. :heart:

I do want to ask you what the title means pertaining to this piece? I was trying to interpret it and I'm just not sure.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's a little bit of a leap for a connection, but I was just thinking about how we pity people that are "good"
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, okay! That's not that much of a leap - I just wasn't making it all the way there. Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Really powerful poem! I love the "to him" part the best, but the second part is still amazing. Do you mind if I write a poem kind of inspired by it? I'll definitely credit you with the original idea, of course.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry this is a little late, I would love to see you write a poem inspired by it!
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Alright, thank you!
Reply
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