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i.
sleepwalking with stars
like bulletwounds, tonight
is for wandering and
loving people I’ve never met.
I have a hole in my heart for
the boy on my bus who balances
the world on his chin as he sleeps.
I’m drawn to a sunshine girl leaking
beams every time she opens her
mouth to smile. and still, I follow
a boy who walks across clouds;
I want to ask him to send me up
like a balloon.

ii.
ways I need to be loved:
a hand heavy on my hip to remind me
gravity is more than an ideal, a
soft kiss to bring me back from
other galaxies, a calm whisper
when I’ve run out of words
but the silence is too
much,

iii.
I’m severely broken up,
fragments of words and
heartscraps and sky-pieces;
crawling backwards through
open windows trying to find
a home. I’m trying but
I was untaught how to
function, I’m trying to
be correct. I’m trying to
be normal. I’m trying to
be correct. I’m trying.

iv.
words I need to hear:
I Love You. i love you
i love you i love you i love you
( i was never what you expected )
experimental?
probably crap, but i'm writing

i romanticize people far too often
i watch this one boy walk from class to class and i swear to god he's on another planet, i want to be there with him
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:iconsuddenlyautumn:
SuddenlyAutumn Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014
ahh. i just love this :heart:
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:iconazurenebulae:
AzureNebulae Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I haven't read a poem of this quality for weeks. Thank you for this <3 I particularly love the imagery it evokes; the positive and negative contrasts in i. reveal a sense of uncertainty (like the character is trying to balance who they really are and who they are trying to be). Beautifully written <3
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner May 19, 2014   General Artist
you and your effing extraordinary experimentation skills
always getting it right the first time, U FO REALZ? :stare:
wonderfully worded and suitably structured poem you have here, madlove :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much for your support <3 i'm glad to hear it worked
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014   General Artist
my pleasure, petal <3
Reply
:iconcodeman249:
CodeMan249 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014
Crap? wow well id say if this is crap then my work needs to be burned with fire this piece is beautiful and brings tears to my eyes. It makes me think of myself and the things ive gone through. Id say romanticizing is a beutiful thing and it can never be done too much. live life how you see it fit and love yourself for it.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much for your advice and kindness <3
Reply
:iconeclipticsnowleopard:
EclipticSnowLeopard Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is epic and beautifully written. I feel it's easy to relate to, and very sincere. Well done!!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Student Writer
Being redundant here, but NOT CRAP. Frankly, it is beautiful, you are beautiful, and even better is that the way you see others is beautiful. Every word you string together is like this intricate necklace of beads one didn't expect to be beautiful but together, they are.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i'm so happy to hear that, truly :love: thank you so much
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconschriftsteller:
schriftsteller Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014   Writer
your artist's comments-- i'm the exact same way. this poem is beautiful and heartwrenchng and amazing. i'm glad i could read it this morning. fantastic work.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank goodness there's more out there like me
Reply
:iconschriftsteller:
schriftsteller Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014   Writer
it's a nice thing to know, isn't it?
Reply
:iconhollowsunsets:
HollowSunsets Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014
This is beautiful. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
you are <3
Reply
:iconvertigoart:
VertigoArt Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Professional Writer
Quite a piece. The first stanza made me think of hitting the close window button, but I continued to read. The piece is juvenile, but still worth a read. 

I have written some whoppers that made my skin crawl but I still shared (most of) them. Sometimes people agree with me that is is shit, but sometimes I am surprised when what I thought was lower than toilet tissue was some people's favorite piece.

I love that you are writing. Continue that, now and forever.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for your thoughts and advice
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Student General Artist
I love all of these, dearie. Particularly stanzas II and IV - exactly where I'm at right now, too :(
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconzilenna:
Zilenna Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love you. 
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ahhh :blush:
Reply
:iconstargirl2791:
stargirl2791 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
that first stanza.... wow! it just sings!
this is so beautiful! :D
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :love:
Reply
:iconsilverthorne-studios:
silverthorne-studios Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This isn't crap, this is beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you <3
Reply
:iconsilverthorne-studios:
silverthorne-studios Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome :heart:
Reply
:iconcalvincooledge:
calvincooledge Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
DON"T you ever try to be normal, don't be like everybody else. *raises fist in air, and shouts* Weird FORever!"

 Anyways, this poem isn't as free flowing as your other poems. Ex. "loving people I've never met. I have a hole in my heart for....",  mostly has to do with how its worded, "loving people I've never met. The hole I have in my heart for.." or "I’m trying to be correct. I’m trying to be normal. I’m trying to be correct. I’m trying." should be "I'm trying, to be correct, to be normal, I'm trying." Nothing really wrong with your poem but i just prefer poems that flow, but still the best always, also here have my balloons Airborne (I'm scared of heights anyways) 
 
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for your feedback! i definitely was trying to have a different sense of flow.
Reply
:icongletser:
gletser Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
not crap!
beautiful.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconetykut:
etykut Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Student General Artist
The world is much more interesting when it's romanticised. :)

I love your honesty, it's beautiful, surreal and refreshing. :heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i'm absolutely honored to hear that, thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconetykut:
etykut Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student General Artist
Pleasure :heart:
Reply
:icongeorgiafern:
GeorgiaFern Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Student Writer
You're still beautiful.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i love you <3
Reply
:icongeorgiafern:
GeorgiaFern Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Student Writer
I love you too :heart:
Reply
:iconvallestin:
Vallestin Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
#NOT CRAP, this is amazing
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconvallestin:
Vallestin Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yw 
Reply
:iconilovetheapocalypse:
ilovetheapocalypse Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
there are good lines in this. thanks for sharing.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
<3
Reply
:icongliitchlord:
gliitchlord Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014   Writer
i love this.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ugh thank you that means so much from you <3
Reply
:icongliitchlord:
gliitchlord Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014   Writer
experimental
is the best mental
Reply
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March 30, 2014
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